Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates below information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, The number of jobs in economy sectors. Manufacturing was peak in startup years while, healthcare was least in beginning years.

In 1960, manufacturing was peak around 15 million jobs while retail and agriculture was same in position around 6 million job. Healthcare jobs was least in 1960 around less then 5 million jobs. In 1980 healthcare jobs was rapidly increase around 5 million jobs but, agriculture was decline by 2-3 millions whereas retail was also steep around twice. manufacturing jobs was trend in 1980 around million jobs

In 2000, agriculture was stable in 3 million jobs. healthcare jobs was sudden increased crossed 10 millions jobs. but, manufacturing was fall by 4 to 5 millions. retail was reach 15 millions jobs individuals was interested in retail. In 2020 agriculture was continuous decrease around 2 millions jobs whereas healthcare and retail in position around 15 millions jobs. manufacturing was also decline around below 15 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response partially addresses the task by attempting to outline the main features and trends of the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the information is sometimes inaccurate or poorly expressed, such as the statement that manufacturing was at a peak in startup years while healthcare was least in the beginning years, which overlooks the actual starting figures. The overview is fragmented and lacks clarity, appearing more as a disjointed list of observations rather than a cohesive summary of major trends. While some key features like the rise in healthcare and retail are mentioned, the details and comparisons are under-developed and lack precision. To move higher, the response needs a clearer, well-integrated overview and more accurate reporting of data with fully supported comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response shows some organization with paragraphs attempting to separate different time periods, but there is no clear overall progression or logical flow between sentences. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or repetitive, making the text disjointed. For instance, sentences often start abruptly without proper logical links, and referencing is frequently unclear, such as the dangling phrases about individuals being interested in retail. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within paragraphs fails to guide the reader smoothly through the data. To improve, the writer needs to use a wider range of cohesive devices more accurately and ensure that ideas are sequenced logically to create a seamless progression throughout the report.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are frequent word choice errors and inappropriate word formations, such as saying manufacturing was 'peak' instead of peaking, or using 'startup years' instead of the initial period. Other awkward expressions like 'retail was also steep around twice' impede clear communication. Spelling and morphological errors are noticeable throughout the text, reflecting a restricted control of lexical items. To achieve a higher band, the student must expand their vocabulary range, use appropriate academic collocations, and correctly apply word forms such as verbs and nouns to convey data more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies on a very limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar, tense usage, and prepositions, such as 'jobs was rapidly increase' instead of increased, and mixing past tenses with present forms. Punctuation and article usage are also problematic, with missing articles and run-on structures that make reading difficult. These frequent errors cause considerable strain for the reader. To improve, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over basic sentence patterns, ensure correct verb tenses when describing past data, and reduce the frequency of grammatical errors across simple and complex sentences.

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