Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given graph shows the economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.

During the period of 1960 the jobs in healthcare sector were aroud 0-2% while the retail agriculture sector job placement was around 6%. On the contrary the manufacturing job sector was around 15% high in the same year.

In 1980 the healthcare sector placment increase wuth 5% and the same healthcare sector that was high came to below 5 percent. while retail remained on 10 and 5he manufactoring sector went up tp 20 percent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, stopping well short at only 88 words. Consequently, the task is addressed only partially. While the student attempts to report some data from the graph, such as the manufacturing and healthcare figures for 1960 and 1980, the selection of data is very limited. Furthermore, there are significant factual inaccuracies in the interpretation of the visual data; for instance, the student states that healthcare jobs in 1960 were around 0-2% and that placement increased 'with 5%', which misrepresents the millions scale shown on the axis. There is no overall summary or overview provided of the trends across the entire sixty-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response shows some basic organisation into an introduction and two body paragraphs, but there is no clear overall progression across the text. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes inaccurate, such as using 'On the contrary' inappropriately to introduce a contrasting data point that does not represent an opposition. Referencing and linking between sentences are weak, leading to a disjointed reading experience. Paragraphing is attempted, but the paragraphs are underdeveloped and lack internal cohesion, resulting in a fragmented structure that struggles to guide the reader through the data logically.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, restricted mostly to basic terms related to the task prompt such as 'graph', 'jobs', 'sector', and 'economy'. There are notable lexical and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'aroud' for around, 'placment' for placement, 'increase wuth' instead of increased by, and 'manufactoring' for manufacturing. Word choices are sometimes awkward or imprecise, such as referring to job placement percentages instead of millions of jobs. These noticeable lexical errors and the restricted range reflect a basic level of vocabulary control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical structure is heavily limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are issues with verb tenses and forms, such as 'the healthcare sector placment increase wuth 5%' where both tense and prepositions are mishandled. Prepositional and article usage is also faulty, as seen in phrases like 'during the period of 1960' and 'in the healthcare sector'. Frequent basic errors in punctuation and sentence construction occur throughout, causing some difficulty for the reader and preventing the consistent delivery of error-free clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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