Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line graph illustrates the data about the number of employments in four sectors of economy manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. in US between the time period of 1960 and 2020.

Overall, healthcare and and retail recorded considerably higher numbers than the rest of jobs throughout the period. By contrast, manufacturing experienced substantial decrease, while agriculture remained relatively stable at lower level.

healthcare employments rose steadily from almost 3% (1960) to a peak of 5% in 1980, as well as it surged almost 10% in 2000. However, it went upward from 10% at the end of period (2020). subsequently, retail jobs 6% in 1960 and 10% in 1980, and the climbed more markedly to 15% in 2000. in 2020 it slightly jumped from 15%.

conversely, manufacturing stood at 15% in 1960 it soared in 1980 at 20%, in 2000 it plunged at almost 15% and considerably declined in 2020 at less than 15%. Meanwhile, agriculture gradually dropped from almost 5% (1960) to 3% and it remained constant at lower level by the end of period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You successfully cover all four sectors mentioned in the graph and provide a clear overview outlining the main trends, such as the overall dominance of healthcare and retail alongside the substantial decrease in manufacturing. However, your response sits at this level because some parts of your task execution are uneven and under-developed. For instance, while you attempt to detail specific data points, you misinterpret the unit of measurement on the y-axis, treating millions of jobs as percentages (e.g., writing 'almost 3%' or '15%'). Additionally, some data reporting lacks precision or is slightly unclear regarding specific year-on-year movements. To reach a higher level, you must ensure that data units are reported accurately according to the prompt and that all key features—such as the crossing points of the lines—are supported with accurate figures and clearer comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear division into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs detailing the specific data trends. You make reasonable use of cohesive devices to structure your writing, such as 'Overall', 'By contrast', and 'conversely'. However, cohesion is at times faulty or mechanical. For example, the transition phrase 'subsequently, retail jobs 6% in 1960' lacks a verb, and referencing between sentences occasionally feels disjointed, as seen in the sudden shift to manufacturing without a smooth connective link. Furthermore, punctuation and sentence boundaries within your body paragraphs occasionally disrupt the natural flow of information. To improve, work on ensuring every sentence is grammatically complete and use a wider, more natural variety of cohesive links to connect your ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and descriptive phrases such as 'considerably higher numbers', 'substantial decrease', and 'remained relatively stable'. However, your lexical control shows some recurring inaccuracies in word choice and expression. For example, using 'employments' instead of 'employment' or 'jobs', and phrasing like 'it went upward from 10%' rather than describing the upward trajectory accurately. There are also occasional awkward collocations and missing verbs when discussing data values. To achieve a higher band score, you should focus on using precise task-specific vocabulary for data reporting (such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'marginal increase') and ensure that word forms and collocations are used more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your response relies on a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like subordinate clauses and comparative statements. However, your grammar control is hindered by frequent errors and awkward phrasings that reflect a limited range of reliable structures. There are notable issues with missing verbs and prepositions, such as in 'retail jobs 6% in 1960 and 10% in 1980' and 'manufacturing stood at 15% in 1960 it soared in 1980', which results in run-on sentences and comma splices. Punctuation and capitalization errors also appear at the beginnings of sentences and after periods. To improve your grammar score, you need to focus on sentence boundaries, ensure every clause has a main verb, and practice forming complex sentences with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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