Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs, measured in millions, in four sectors of the US economy-manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare- from 1960 to 2020.

In 1960, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at approximately 15 million. This figure increased to nearly 20 million in 1980, before declining to around 16 million in 2000 and 12 million in 2020. Reatil employment, on the other hand, rose steadily throughout the period. It increased from 6 million in 1960 to almost 10 million in 1980, and then reached approximately 14 milllion in 2000, the number had climed to 15 million in 2020.

However, healthcare experienced substantial growth over the period. Starting at only 2 million jobs in 1960, the figure increased to approximately 5 million in 1980. It then doubled to around 10 million in 2000 and reached 15 million by 2020 while agriculture showed a contrasting trend. Employment fell from roughly 6 million in 1960 to about 3 million in 1980. It remained relatively stable at around 2-3 million in 2000, before dropping to approximately 1 million in 2020.

In conclusion, manufacturing jobs increased intially but declined cinsiderably after 1980, whereas retail and healthcare employment rose substantially.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully covers all parts of the task by presenting an overview and reporting the main features of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The selection of data is generally accurate, capturing trends such as the peak and subsequent decline in manufacturing alongside the continuous growth in healthcare and retail. However, some aspects of the report are slightly under-developed or contain minor inaccuracies in data reading, such as stating that retail reached 15 million in 2020 when it grew further, or minor rounding differences. To reach a higher level, the response would need to consistently maintain fully developed and completely accurate feature reporting without minor data discrepancies.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear division into paragraphs, featuring a dedicated introduction, body paragraphs grouped logically by sector trends, and a concluding summary. Progression is generally logical, taking the reader smoothly from one period to the next. However, cohesion is occasionally affected by minor mechanical errors, such as the comma splice or run-on structure in sentences like 'It increased from 6 million in 1960 to almost 10 million in 1980, and then reached approximately 14 milllion in 2000, the number had climed to 15 million in 2020.' Improving the precision of cohesive devices and avoiding fused clauses would enhance the overall flow and elevate the structural cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully attempting less common terms such as 'fluctuated', 'substantial growth', and 'contrasting trend'. However, there are a few spelling and typographical errors, such as 'Reatil' instead of 'Retail' and 'milllion' with an extra letter, as well as 'intially' and 'cinsiderably' in the conclusion. Word choice is generally appropriate, though occasional slips in spelling and word form prevent the vocabulary from achieving a higher rating. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading to eliminate careless spelling mistakes and expand the use of precise lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The text demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like time clauses ('Starting at only 2 million jobs in 1960, the figure increased...') and contrastive transitions effectively. There are some grammatical and punctuation errors present, notably tense usage or run-on punctuation errors within complex sentences, such as '...in 2000, the number had climed to 15 million in 2020.' Nevertheless, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate greater control over complex sentence punctuation and verb tense consistency.

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