Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
There are four sectors of jobs in the economy of usa during [redacted phone] which are like Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare.
From year 1960 - 1980 jobs in Healthcare sector are increased from 2-5% whereas jobs in Agriculture sector has been decreased from 6 -3% like that jobs in Retail sector has been increased from 6-10% in a similar way jobs in Manufacturing sector has been increased from 15-20%.
From year 1980 - 2000 jobs in Healthcare sector are slightly increased from 5-11% compared to last 20 decades , like that jobs in Agriculture sector has no improvements where it is neutral whereas jobs in Retail sector has again increased from 10-15% in a similar way jobs in Manufacturing sector has been decreased from 20-16%.
From year 2000 - 2022 jobs in Healthcare sector are increased from 11-16% whereas jobs in Agriculture sector has been decreased from 3 -1% where people are not getting jobs in this sector like that jobs in Retail sector has little increased from 15-16% in a similar way jobs in Manufacturing sector again has been decreased from 16-13%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response makes an attempt to address the prompt by describing the changes in four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the performance is limited because the data is inaccurately reported using percentages instead of millions of jobs, such as stating 'healthcare sector are increased from 2-5%' instead of millions. Furthermore, there is no overall overview of the main trends presented, which is a key requirement for this task type. The writing tends to mechanically list data period by period without selecting and highlighting the most striking overall features, such as the dramatic overtake of healthcare and retail compared to the decline in agriculture and manufacturing.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organized into distinct paragraphs corresponding to different time periods, which provides a basic structural framework. However, the overall progression lacks a sophisticated flow because the transitions and linking phrases are repetitive and mechanical, relying heavily on phrases like 'whereas' and 'in a similar way'. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, and the mechanical listing of data points prevents the ideas from building into a cohesive overview. Paragraphing is present, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs needs more varied cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly through the comparative data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with frequent reliance on basic verbs of change such as 'increased' and 'decreased'. There are also instances of inappropriate word choice and minor collocation issues, such as using 'improvements' for stagnant data ('has no improvements where it is neutral') and misusing percentage signs for absolute job numbers. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic movements on the graph, it lacks the range of less common lexical items and precise phrasing required to discuss statistical trends effectively, resulting in a somewhat simplistic and mechanical presentation of the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The text displays a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on repetitive subject-verb-object patterns joined by basic conjunctions. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly concerning subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs in Healthcare sector are increased', 'jobs in Agriculture sector has been decreased') and tense consistency, as well as missing articles (e.g., 'in US'). Attempts at complex structures are often faulty or awkward, and punctuation errors occur. These frequent inaccuracies place a noticeable strain on the reader and indicate a need for better control over basic sentence construction and grammatical patterns.
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