Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given picture gives us the information about number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960 to 2020.

The given chart gives us the information about different jobs sectors like manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.

In 1960, healthcare sector has around 2.5 millions jobs and that goes up in 2020 to 15 millions jobs.

Manufacturing has 15 millions jobs in 1960, 20 millions in 1980, and 13 millions in 2020.

Agriculture has 6 millions jobs in 1960, and around 2.5 millions jobs in 1980, and 2000. That figure is furthure drop in 2020 to 2 millions.

Retails has 6 millions jobs in 1960, 10 millions in 1980, 15 millions in 2000, and around 16 millions in 2020.

The given graph gives us alot of information about job sectors and it was quite useful for our knowledge because we can use this data in our records.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the prompt by reporting figures for the four sectors shown in the line graph, but it does so in a mechanical and incomplete manner. Key features are not adequately highlighted, and there is no overview provided to summarize the main trends, which keeps the response at a lower band level. While some data points are mentioned, such as manufacturing having 20 millions jobs in 1980, the lack of an overarching summary and the minimal selection of overall trends mean the task is only partially addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The text lacks clear overall progression and logical paragraphing. The student relies heavily on listing individual data points for each sector in separate, repetitive sentences, such as starting multiple sentences with 'Manufacturing has' or 'Agriculture has'. There is a lack of effective cohesive devices to link ideas together smoothly. Furthermore, the introductory sentences are repetitive and unnecessary, stating twice that 'The given graph gives us the information'. Paragraphing is poorly handled, resulting in a disjointed structure that lacks a clear introduction, overview, and body layout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, relying constantly on basic terms like 'jobs', 'millions', and numbers. There are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'jobs sectors' instead of 'job sectors' or 'economic sectors', 'furthure drop' containing a spelling error, and 'Retails' instead of 'Retail'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary are very restricted. Although the meaning is generally communicated despite these limitations, the frequent repetition of simple words restricts the range and prevents the response from achieving a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical range is limited, consisting primarily of simple sentence structures with frequent errors. There are frequent issues with verb tenses and agreement, such as 'healthcare sector has around 2.5 millions jobs' (incorrect pluralization of millions and tense inconsistency) and 'That figure is furthure drop' (incorrect passive or tense formation). Prepositions and articles are also occasionally misused. While the simple sentences are usually understandable, errors in grammar and word forms occur frequently across the text, causing some difficulty for the reader.

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