Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the trends about the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors of US economy between 1960 and 2020. Units are measured in millions.
Overall, at the start the manufacturing was the most popular job sector which showed a downward trend over the period. The healthcare department had the smallest number of jobs initially, which rose dramatically and reached at peak over the time. The healthcare and retail stood at the same peak at the end of the time period.
The manufacturing catagory started from the 15 millions jobs in 1960 which gradually increase and reached at the 20 in 1980. After that this catagory fall dramatically and reached at around 13 million in 2020.
The retail and agriculture have same starting point that is around 6 million in 1960. The retail showed a significant increase and reached at 16 million in 2020, while, the agriculture showed a dip in 1980 and , after that it remained stable above 2 million in 2020.
Healthcare displayed the substantial growth, started from the lowest point above 2 and peaked at around 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting on the four sectors across the given time period, and provides a clear overview highlighting key trends such as manufacturing's decline and healthcare's substantial growth. While the main features are successfully selected, some ideas are under-developed or contain minor generalisation issues, such as stating that healthcare and retail stood at the same peak at the end of the period without fully clarifying the exact nuance of their trajectories. Overall, the information is accurately drawn from the visual data, fulfilling the core requirements of this level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The text maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introductory summary to the overview and specific body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different economic sectors and timeframes. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, with occasional awkward transitions and repetitive sentence openers such as 'The manufacturing catagory' and 'The retail and agriculture'. Referencing is generally functional, but the flow would benefit from a more varied toolkit of cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
An adequate range of vocabulary is deployed for the task, successfully incorporating topic-specific terms like 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. The writer attempts less common vocabulary with varying success, showing appropriate use of phrases such as 'downward trend', 'rose dramatically', and 'remained stable'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('catagory') and minor word-choice inaccuracies, such as writing 'increase' instead of 'increased' or 'fall' instead of 'fell', though these do not impede overall communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with attempts at relative clauses and comparative structures. There are several errors in grammar, particularly involving verb tense consistency and articles, such as 'started from the 15 millions jobs', 'reached at peak', and 'have same starting point'. Prepositions inside grammatical patterns are also occasionally misused, as seen in 'reached at the 20'. Nonetheless, these errors are sporadic rather than pervasive, and they rarely impede communication.
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