Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph represents four different job sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone]. The X axis represent the availability of jobs and Y axis represents the year. Retail and Healthcare has seen a positive elevation and reached a mutual point in availability of jobs. Healthcare experienced a sharp incline after 2000 and is now along retail with more than 15 million jobs. If the trends keep their momentum, healthcare would exceed retail in the upcoming years. Manufacturing on the other end, has seen a gradual decline after 1980. This decline can be attributed to companies out sourcing their manufacturing to countries where the labour is cheaper and affordable. Agriculture, despite being a significant industry and crucial for climate has been on a decline since the 1960. Although there was a static period during 1980 to 2000, it has been on a gradual decline since 2000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response only partially addresses the task requirements and falls slightly short of the minimum word count limit, containing 146 words instead of the required 150. While the student attempts to summarise the main features of the graph, such as the trends in retail and healthcare, some parts of the data are misread or confused. For instance, the student states that the X axis represents the availability of jobs and the Y axis represents the year, which is the exact reverse of the actual graph. Furthermore, although some key sectors like manufacturing and agriculture are mentioned, the explanation regarding outsourcing introduces outside knowledge and speculation rather than strictly reporting the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays some organisation and attempts to group information by sector, but it lacks a clear overall progression and logical flow between sentences. Paragraphing is inadequate, as the entire response is condensed into a single block of text rather than being structured into a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes repetitive or mechanical, such as starting multiple sentences with basic transitions or descriptive phrases without effectively linking the ideas together. Referencing is occasionally unclear, which forces the reader to work harder to follow the progression of data across the given sixty-year period.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic concepts related to economic sectors and trends. The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'positive elevation', 'sharp incline', and 'momentum', but these collocations feel slightly unnatural or awkward in an academic context. There are also noticeable vocabulary and word choice inaccuracies, such as 'out sourcing' written as two words and 'labour' combined with 'cheaper and affordable'. While these lexical slips do not completely impede communication, they restrict the response to a modest band level due to a lack of precision and style.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The grammatical range is limited, relying mostly on simple and moderately complex sentence structures. There are frequent errors in grammar, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions that can cause some difficulty for the reader. For example, the student writes 'Retail and Healthcare has seen', failing to use the plural verb form for a compound subject. Additionally, there are punctuation and prepositional errors within grammatical patterns, such as 'along retail' instead of 'alongside retail' or 'on a decline since the 1960'. Attempts at complex structures are often slightly faulty or lack polished control.
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