Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line graph illustrate employement across four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in Manufacturing were highest for the majority of the time, whereas Agriculture and Retail started with a similar number of which only Retail got hyped and Healthcare sectors started with least and rose gradually.

On the one hand, Manufacturing sectors had the most number of jobs available in 1960. It started around 15 millions jobs and peaked just before 1980 with having 20 millions individuals employed in this sector and then the number decreased gradually which was slightly greater than 12.5 millions in 2020.

On the other hand, Agriculture and Reatil sector had almost similar number jobs in 1960 (slightly more than 5 millions) and in Healthcare sector the number was slighty smaller than half of the other two sectors. Although Healthcare and Retail sector had much less number jobs than Manufacturing sector in 1960, both sky rocketed and in 2020 in both the sectors more than 15 millions of people were employed. But unlike them Agriculture sector was able increase the number of jobs and the number was decreasing from 1960 till in 2020 around 2 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by covering the general trends and selecting key features of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is present, highlighting the dominance of manufacturing and the contrasting trajectories of healthcare and agriculture. However, some aspects are under-developed or imprecise; for instance, the description of retail and healthcare grouping together in 2020 lacks complete clarity regarding their individual peaks. The figures reported, such as manufacturing peaking near 20 million in 1980 and falling to around 13 million in 2020, align well with the visual data. To reach a higher level, the response would need to extend the comparisons further and provide a more fully developed overview without minor inaccuracies.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the information into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for different sectors. Logical progression is generally maintained through sequencing words and transition phrases such as 'Overall', 'On the one hand', and 'On the other hand'. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, and referencing is not always completely clear, as seen in complex sentences where pronoun or noun links become slightly tangled, such as 'which only Retail got hyped'. Paragraphing is used, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be smoother and more logically integrated to avoid minor awkwardness in transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'trajectory', 'plummeted', or descriptive phrases like 'sky rocketed'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies that reflect a band five and six threshold, such as 'employement' instead of employment, 'got hyped', and 'able increase' instead of able to increase. Spelling and word-form errors are present, for instance 'Reatil', but these do not seriously impede communication. To achieve a higher lexical score, the writer needs to incorporate more precise, formal economic vocabulary and eliminate basic spelling and collocation slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as concessive clauses starting with 'Although'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'the number of jobs in Manufacturing were highest' and 'Healthcare sectors started with least', as well as missing prepositions and articles like 'in Healthcare sector'. Despite these errors, the complex structures used do not severely impede communication. To move up to a higher grammatical band, the student must produce a greater proportion of error-free sentences and maintain strict control over tense consistency and singular-plural noun agreements.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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