Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The figure given below demonstrate the counts of employement in four different departments which is Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in economy of the US between the years of 1960 and 2020.

First we will discuss the graph we have horizentally there is the year mentioned and on the other hand in vertical we have jobs in millions we will discuss the manufacturing and ratail first if i talk about the manufacturing it goes up from 15 millions to 20 millions in the two decades however in the next 20 years there was a slight drop in the number of jobs like it drop to 17 or 18 millions but in the last two decades there is a massive drop in the job market of manufacturing and it goes down to 13 millions.After manufacturing we have retail in 1960 the retails was at 6 million round about however with time it goes up from the 6 millions to 10 millions moving forward the rise in the number continues and it incline upto 16 millions in the 2020.

We will tak about agriculture now in the 1960 the economy of agriculture was at 6 millions but with time we see a huge drop down in that number and it continously goes down to 3 millions in the year of 2020.However the healthcare was started from the zero and goes all upto 16 millions at the last year 2020 there is no drop or decline in that time of healthcare .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response makes an attempt to present an overview of the four sectors shown in the graph, but it only partially addresses the task requirements. While some main trends are touched upon, the information is somewhat disjointed and lacks a fully realised, cohesive overall summary of the visual data. Key features, such as the initial and final figures for manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, are mentioned, but the reporting lacks precision and clear comparative analysis. Ideas are presented in a limited way with a tendency toward informal, descriptive narration rather than a structured academic summary. To move higher, the response needs to select and highlight the most salient trends more clearly, providing a well-organised overview and direct comparisons between the sectors rather than treating each sector in isolation with vague approximations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The text shows some organisation, but it lacks clear overall progression and logical flow throughout. The writing is divided into irregular paragraphs that merge multiple ideas, and sentences often run together without appropriate transitions. The student attempts to guide the reader using conversational markers such as 'First we will discuss' and 'if i talk about', which creates a mechanical and informal tone rather than a coherent academic structure. Reference words are sometimes ambiguous, making it difficult to follow the progression of information across the years. For a higher band, the response requires more sophisticated and varied cohesive devices, clearer paragraph divisions where each body paragraph focuses on distinct comparative trends, and a logical progression that guides the reader effortlessly through the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, though it is minimally adequate to convey basic information about the graph. The student makes noticeable errors in word choice and word formation, such as 'employement', 'departments', 'ratail', and 'incline upto'. Collocations are frequently unnatural, as seen in phrases like 'the economy of agriculture was at' and 'the healthcare was started from the zero'. Spelling mistakes and inaccuracies in terminology occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve lexical resource, the writer needs to incorporate a wider and more precise range of vocabulary related to data analysis, including appropriate verbs and nouns to describe trends accurately, while paying closer attention to standard spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and lengthy, run-on clauses linked by coordinating conjunctions. Attempts at more complex structures are often faulty, featuring frequent errors in verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'it goes down to 13 millions.After manufacturing we have retail' and 'in the year of 2020.However the healthcare was started'. Punctuation is weak, with missing capitalisation and run-on sentences that lack proper terminal punctuation or comma splices. Frequent grammatical errors can cause some difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the student must demonstrate better control over complex sentence forms, ensure accurate use of articles and verb tenses when describing past trends, and apply correct punctuation and sentence boundary demarcation.

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