Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the data regarding the number of employments in different four sectors of the economy between the period of 60 years.
overall,the graph demonstrates that the numbers of jobs in retail and healthcare incrasing rapidly. However,value of agriculture falling down in every years and the value of construction jobs is on highest in intial years but next this it is falling down.
The number of jobs in manufacturing increased a little bit during the first 10 years and reached on peak at the of 20 millions which is the highest number from the whole employments in 1980. Although,in coming period it started decreasing and reached 13 millions in 2020,and the value of jobs in healthcare and retail consitantly going up and reached at a same number 16 milions in till last year. Moreover,the number of getting employments in agriculture slightly falling and it reached at 2 millions at the end.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response presents an overview with some main trends and reports data for the four sectors, but it only partially addresses the prompt. While manufacturing, retail, and healthcare are mentioned, the agriculture sector is described inaccurately at the end of the text, claiming it reached two million jobs, whereas the chart shows it fell to that level earlier and stayed there or changed slightly. Furthermore, there is a misidentification of a sector as construction ("the value of construction jobs is on highest in intial years"), which confuses the data from the provided graph. The selection of data is therefore somewhat inaccurate, and some details are under-developed or imprecise.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The text is organised into paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by an overview paragraph, and a body paragraph detailing the trends. However, the progression is sometimes difficult to follow due to mechanical and inadequate cohesive devices, such as starting sentences with abrupt transitions like "overall,the graph" or "Although,in coming period". Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as the sudden introduction of construction which breaks the logical flow of the economic sectors presented in the chart. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion requires better linking to guide the reader smoothly through the comparative data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable word choice and collocation issues, such as "number of employments" instead of "number of jobs", and "getting employments in agriculture". Spelling errors are also present, including "incrasing", "intial", "consitantly", and "milions". The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, but inaccurate word forms and occasional spelling slips cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few faulty complex attempts. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with missing articles, incorrect prepositions, and tense usage, such as "value of agriculture falling down in every years", "reached on peak at the of 20 millions", and "in till last year". Punctuation and capitalization are also weak, with missing spaces after commas and uncapitalized sentence beginnings like "overall,the graph" and "Although,in". These frequent errors cause some difficulty and distraction for the reader.
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