Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph depicts the US jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retails, agriculture and healthcare. The graph also shows the changes between [redacted phone] there is huge difference.
Firstly, in 1960 manufacturing job are lies on 15 millions whereas retail has above the 5 millions and both job sector data has increased in 1980.Then after four decates to 1960 number has increased in retail sector and in manufacturing sector data are around 16 millions.
Secondly, in 1960 agriculture has above the 5 millions and healthcare below the 5 millions. after two decates data has decreased in agriculture whereas data has increased in health sector; moreover, data has ra
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response falls significantly short of the required 150-word minimum, stopping abruptly at 108 words, which severely impacts its ability to fully cover all parts of the task. While the student attempts to report on the four sectors and mentions some initial and ending data points, the information is incomplete and cuts off mid-sentence ('data has ra'), leaving the overall trends for the 2020 period largely unreported. Furthermore, some data points are inaccurately described or lack precision, such as stating that manufacturing jobs in 1960 'are lies on 15 millions' and misinterpreting the agricultural and healthcare starting points. To improve towards higher bands, the writer must ensure the full word count is met, complete all comparisons across the entire 1960 to 2020 timeframe, and present a clear, rounded overview of the main trends.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text demonstrates some basic organisational attempts through sequencing words like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly', but the overall progression of information is disjointed and incomplete due to the abrupt ending of the text. Paragraphing is rudimentary and the mechanical use of cohesive devices fails to establish a clear logical flow between sentences. Reference links, such as 'both job sector data has increased', are occasionally vague and difficult to follow. To achieve a higher band score, the writer needs to group related data more logically, use a wider and more natural variety of cohesive phrases to connect ideas smoothly, and ensure that every paragraph reaches a complete and coherent conclusion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, relying heavily on basic terms and repetitive structures like 'data has increased' and 'data has decreased'. There are notable lexical and spelling errors, such as 'retails' instead of retail, 'decates' instead of decades, and awkward phrasing such as 'job are lies on'. While the writer attempts to name the specific economic sectors, the range of vocabulary remains limited and insufficient for precision. To progress to a higher band, the student should expand their range of reporting verbs and nouns (e.g., using 'rose', 'declined', 'fluctuated', or 'significant growth') and eliminate spelling and word-form errors that detract from the overall quality of the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement and tense usage, as seen in phrases like 'manufacturing job are lies on' and 'number has increased in retail sector' missing necessary articles. The attempt at complex sentences results in faulty grammar, and the text ends mid-sentence. To improve, the writer must work on basic sentence construction, ensure correct article usage and subject-verb agreement, and incorporate a wider mix of error-free complex structures to convey timeframes and comparisons accurately.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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