Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line chart illustrate the average of the propotion jobs in four types of the sectors which is manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail sectors was increasing higher from 1960 untill 2020. Its shows both sectors are giving the progress of growing starting from 0 - 15. They both sectors are rise in each of the year. Manufacturing was fell down from the year of 1960 to 2020. In each of the year its drop down of the jobs. Amongst others economy sectors, Agriculture was record the lowest drop down in every years.

The line chart explains that, every years has different kind of the progress in the jobs sectors. Manufacturing fell down starting from 15 jobs to final year in 13. Than, retail are showing a good perhaps in every year in rise up dramatically which was frim 6 to 16. The highest amongs others as well. Agriculture decrease down in every yaer from 6 to 2. However, healthcare rise up rapidly from the jobs 2 untill 16.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response attempts to cover the main trends in the chart, successfully identifying that healthcare and retail experienced growth while manufacturing and agriculture declined. However, the task is only partially addressed because some data points and comparisons lack precision or are inaccurately reported, such as stating that agriculture recorded the lowest drop down in every year or providing imprecise figures like '0 - 15'. An overview is provided at the beginning of the second paragraph, but it is somewhat basic and the supporting details are limited and under-developed. To reach a higher level, the response needs to select more salient features and report them accurately without over-generalising or misinterpreting the visual data, ensuring a clearer summary of the overall trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a basic logical organisation with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs discussing the specific sectors. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression, and the arrangement of ideas feels somewhat repetitive, with the writer jumping between sectors across paragraphs without a well-structured plan. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as 'In each of the year', 'Than', and 'Amongst others economy sectors', which makes the flow mechanical rather than smooth. Paragraphing is attempted, but paragraph boundaries do not logically separate distinct groups or trends effectively. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of accurate cohesive markers and group information logically, such as discussing growing sectors together and declining sectors together.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, with noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The student attempts some topic-related vocabulary like 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare', but struggles significantly with word choice, word formation, and collocation. Examples of lexical errors include 'propotion' instead of proportion, 'sectors which is' instead of sectors, and unnatural phrasing such as 'giving the progress of growing', 'fell down', and 'showing a good perhaps'. Spelling errors like 'untill', 'yaer', and 'amongs' also detract from the quality of the response. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their vocabulary range and use precise terms for trends, such as 'increase', 'decline', 'fluctuate', and 'dramatic rise', while ensuring correct word forms and accurate spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is severely limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that contain frequent errors. There are persistent mistakes in verb forms and tenses, such as 'The line chart illustrate', 'healthcare and retail sectors was increasing', 'both sectors are rise', and 'retail are showing'. Article errors are also common, as seen in 'in US' and 'in the jobs'. Prepositional and structural patterns are frequently faulty, such as 'from the jobs 2 untill 16'. These frequent errors in grammar, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation cause noticeable difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer needs to practice basic sentence construction, ensure correct verb tenses for describing data, and eliminate frequent grammatical slips.

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