Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the job market status in different sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020. Sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the USA in certain time period.
To begin with, in the 1960 manufacturing sector had most number of jobs which is 15 million following to next 2 decades number showed significant growth at peaked at 20 million, however in coming years this number dropped at around 12 million. On the other hand, retail sector reported consistent growth over the timeline. It was started at around 6 million and peaked to about 13 million.
Similarly, healthcare sector also showed massive gain in number of jobs, where it began around 6 million and increased around 13 million. However, the agriculture sector faced massive drop in the job market, at beginning it was at around 7 million but by the end of 2020 it dropped around only 3 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the key features of the line graph, but it suffers from several inaccuracies in data reporting and lacks a proper overview. For instance, the writer states that the retail sector peaked at about 13 million, whereas the graph shows it reaching 16 million by 2020. Similarly, the agriculture sector figures are misread and poorly supported. Furthermore, the second sentence of the introduction is an incomplete fragment ('Sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the USA in certain time period.'), which prevents a clear understanding of the overall trends. While some main sectors are mentioned, the lack of an overview and the presence of inaccurate data mean the task is only partially addressed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a coherent overall arrangement and attempts to group information logically by sector across paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'Similarly' are used to signpost the progression of ideas, even though referencing and transitions can feel a bit mechanical at times. Paragraphing is used to separate the introduction from the body details, but the lack of a distinct overview paragraph disrupts the logical flow expected in an academic response. Overall, the structure provides a basic framework, but cohesion and referencing need to be handled more flexibly to guide the reader smoothly through the comparative data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, featuring basic terms related to economic sectors and trends, such as 'growth', 'dropped', and 'massive gain'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'most number of jobs' instead of 'the highest number of jobs', and 'peaked at 20 million' followed immediately by 'peaked at 20 million' being misapplied in terms of timing or phrasing elsewhere. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the limited range of vocabulary and occasional imprecise expressions cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few faulty attempts at complex ones. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with prepositions and articles, such as 'in the 1960' instead of 'in 1960', 'at peaked' instead of 'and peaked', and missing articles before key nouns like 'retail sector' and 'agriculture sector'. Additionally, sentence structure issues such as the incomplete fragment in the introduction cause frequent disruptions for the reader. Control over tense usage and basic grammatical agreements needs significant improvement to ensure greater clarity and accuracy.
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