Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph chart illustrate that the number of job sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020. All these job sectors is Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and lastly healthcare.

First of all we saw that the huge number of jobs in manufacturing, that number is 15 in 1960 than, Retail and Agriculture are same number 6 in 1960. the lower number in 1960 is Healthcare which is only 3.

secondly, we clearly saw that in 1980 Manufacturing, Retail and Healthcare are gradually increase.

also Retail and Healthcare are increase dramatically in2020.

But the fact is Agriculture are decrease slightly the same number is 2000 and 2020. deeply decrease is Manufacturing the lowest in 2020.

to sum up, Retail and Agriculture are in 2020 progress and others to sectors are decrese in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response achieves a minimal level of task completion, but fails to meet the required word count of 150 words, standing at only 133 words. The content attempts to outline the four sectors, but the data is frequently inaccurate or unclearly presented (e.g., stating Healthcare was 3 in 1960 when it was closer to 2, and struggling to report the 2020 figures accurately). While an overview is attempted at the very end, it is confused and inaccurate, stating that Retail and Agriculture are in progress while other sectors decrease, ignoring the massive rise in Healthcare. The response only partially addresses the prompt due to significant inaccuracies in data reporting, poor development of main features, and the failure to meet the minimum length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response shows some basic organisation with transitional markers such as 'First of all', 'secondly', and 'to sum up', but overall progression is lacking. The paragraphing is disjointed, with very short, fragmented sentences that fail to build a logical flow of information. Cohesive devices are repetitive and sometimes mechanical, and referencing between sentences is weak (e.g., 'the same number is 2000 and 2020'). There is no clear grouping of data or logical comparison between the trends, resulting in a disjointed text where relationships between ideas are hard to follow. This places the response firmly in the middle band for cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, relying on simple terms like 'number', 'job sectors', 'increase', and 'decrease'. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'deeply decrease' instead of 'sharp decrease' or 'drop significantly', and 'progress' used inappropriately to describe economic trends. Word forms are also frequently misused, such as 'are increase' instead of 'increased'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic topic of economic sectors, the frequent errors and limited range restrict the score at this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, relying heavily on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are frequent issues with verb forms, tense consistency, and subject-verb agreement, such as 'All these job sectors is', 'Agriculture are decrease', and 'others to sectors are decrese'. Complex sentence forms are rarely attempted, and when structures are combined, they often contain errors that cause difficulty for the reader. Punctuation is also erratic, with missing capitalisation and comma splices. These frequent errors across basic structures constrain the grammar score.

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