Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The following graph illustrate amount of jobs of four different categories of economy in the United states from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing had largest number of jobs at the start of the period in 1960, although it declined after reaching the peak in 1980. Retail and healthcare jobs have seen steady inrease over the given period, while agriculture had a steady declince. By 2020 Healthcare adn retail had most number of job in the United state.

In 1960, Manufacturing had the largest number of jobs, with approximatly 15 million jobs. The figure rose sharply to around 20 million in 1980 but then seen a consiberly decrease troughout 2000 and 2020. In 2020 the amount of jobs in matfacturing fell to around 13 million. Agriculture by contrast had around 6 million jobs in 1960. It declined to about 2.5 millon jobs in 2000 after it , jobs further fell to about 2 millon in 2020.

Retail employment had a consistent increase throughout the perriod. The figure started with about 6 million jobs in 1960 , jobs increased to about 10 million in 1980 , 15 million in 2000 and reaching its peak aroud 16 million in 2020.Healthcare also experienced substantial growth, rising from just 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million in 1980 and 11 million in 2000. By 2020, the number of healthcare jobs had increased further to approximately 16 million, making it almost equal to the figure for retail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response covers all parts of the task well, providing a clear overview and highlighting key trends and comparisons across all four economic sectors. Features such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 and the dominant positions of healthcare and retail by 2020 are accurately reported. The information is grounded in the provided chart, and the response addresses all requirements of an Academic Task 1. To reach a higher band, the overview could be slightly more integrated, and some of the minor fluctuations in the middle years could be developed with greater precision and depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response demonstrates a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information about the different sectors is grouped into sensible paragraphs, and a clear overall trend is established in the introduction and second paragraph. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'By contrast', and 'also experienced substantial growth'. However, the progression within paragraphs occasionally feels a little mechanical, and referencing between sentences could be smoother to fully achieve the features of a higher band. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the detailed body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'employment', 'substantial growth', and 'approximatly'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'illustrate' instead of 'illustrates', 'amount' instead of 'number', 'inrease', 'declince', 'adn', 'consiberly', 'troughout', and 'matfacturing'. These errors show some lack of control over word forms and spelling, though they do not seriously impede communication, placing the response firmly at this level. Using a wider range of precise lexical items without errors would elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures such as relative clauses and subordinate time clauses. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward structures, such as 'following graph illustrate amount of jobs', 'Retail and healthcare jobs have seen steady inrease', 'after it , jobs further fell', and missing articles like 'in the United state'. Punctuation is occasionally erratic, with spaces before commas and full stops. While these errors rarely impede communication and there are some error-free sentences, frequent minor inaccuracies in verb forms, prepositions, and singular/plural agreement prevent the grammar from reaching a higher band.

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