Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the quantity of jobs in four sectors like manufacturing, retail, agricultural and healthcare of the GDP in US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, availability of jobs in manufacturing was extremely higher than the pther three sectors. In recent times, number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors were very similar. And amount of jobs in agriculture was very over these periods.
From 1960 to 2020, it is highly noticeable that the job availability of retail and healthcare facilities were being increasing in a upward manner. Since healthcare job number is lower than retail jobs, both have reached of almost 16 millions on 2020.
The amount of jobs in manufacturing and agricultural units declines steadily as the year changes. There is a slight decreases in the agriculture unit which reduces from 6 millions to 3 millions during these 60 years. On the other hands, there is a fluctuation in the manufacturing units but ultimately it declines from 20 millions to 13 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to report the main features and comparisons, which is a key requirement of this task type. However, the overview is imprecise and confusingly states that manufacturing was 'extremely higher than the pther three sectors' throughout, which overlooks the fact that healthcare and retail eventually surpassed manufacturing by 2020. Additionally, some details contain misread data, such as claiming the amount of jobs in agriculture was 'very over these periods' or that agriculture reduced from 6 millions to 3 millions while also stating it declines steadily. These inaccuracies and under-developed comparisons prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing the trends. However, the overall progression lacks clarity in places due to awkward transitions and confusing statements, such as 'And amount of jobs in agriculture was very over these periods.' Cohesive devices are used, but sometimes mechanically or inappropriately, such as 'On the other hands'. Paragraphing is present, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs needs more careful linking to ensure the information builds clearly and coherently for the reader.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, allowing the student to describe general upward and downward trends in the data. However, there is a limited range of vocabulary, and noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices occur throughout the text, such as 'quantity of jobs', 'amount of jobs in agriculture', and 'job availability of retail and healthcare facilities were being increasing in a upward manner'. Furthermore, spelling errors such as 'pther' and morphological issues like 'decreases' instead of 'decrease' detract from the overall quality of the writing and occasionally cause strain for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the range is limited and attempts at complexity frequently result in grammatical errors. Examples of structural and agreement errors include 'number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors were very similar', 'job availability ... were being increasing', and 'Since healthcare job number is lower than retail jobs, both have reached of almost 16 millions on 2020.' Prepositional and article errors are also present throughout the text. These frequent errors require the reader to occasionally reread sentences to grasp the intended meaning.
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