Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This line graph illustrates the information about the number of the jobs across four sectors namely manufacturing, retail,agriculture, and healtcare in the United states from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that manufacture sector recorded the highest figures in the initial, whereas agriculture stood at the bottom. Addtionally, while some sectors experienced downward trends.

Focusing on the category with the highest figures in the begining, manufacturing sector stated at 15 millions jobs in 1960 before rising to 20 millions in 1980, wheras continuoulsy fall down trends seen throughout the period till 13 millions in 2020. A similar pattern was seen in agriculture sector, which began at 6 millions in 1960, continuosly declined till 4 millions in 1980, however, experienced some flacutaion trends throughout the period and reach 2 millions in 2022.

Turning to the remainig sectors, retail and healtcare following the different trends. Retail sectors sttod at 6 million at the begining of the period, while significantly higher than helathcare. over the subsequenct years, both sectors grows to 11 millions till 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response attempts to address all parts of the task by outlining the main features and providing an overview, but the development is limited and partially inaccurate. While the overview correctly identifies the highest sector at the start and mentions downward trends, it is incomplete and cuts off mid-sentence ("Additionally, while some sectors experienced downward trends."). Furthermore, there are inaccuracies in reporting the data: for instance, the text states that agriculture reached "2 millions in 2022" (whereas the chart ends in 2020) and claims that retail and healthcare both grew to "11 millions till 2020", which contradicts the visual data showing retail at 16 million and healthcare at 16 million in 2020. To improve, ensure all overview points are finished, verify the figures against the chart carefully, and fully develop the comparisons between sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a basic structure with clear paragraph breaks separating the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, providing a coherent overall arrangement. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by abrupt transitions and faulty cohesive devices. For example, phrases like "Focusing on the category with the highest figures in the begining" and "Turning to the remainig sectors" attempt to guide the reader, but referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in "retail and healtcare following the different trends." Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion requires more accurate and varied linking words to ensure a smoother flow of information throughout the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to discuss economic sectors and statistical trends. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, such as "healtcare", "manufacture" instead of manufacturing, "stated" instead of started, "wheras", "continuoulsy", "fall down trends", "flacutaion" (fluctuation), and "remainig". While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding the general topic, they are frequent enough to restrict the score. To reach a higher band, you need to use less common vocabulary with greater precision and eliminate basic spelling mistakes through careful proofreading.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent grammatical errors throughout, including tense inconsistencies and awkward verb forms, such as "continuosly declined till 4 millions... however, experienced some flacutaion trends... and reach 2 millions", "retail and healtcare following the different trends", and "both sectors grows". Errors in prepositions and articles also occur regularly. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and indicate a lack of secure control over grammatical structures. To improve, focus on mastering simple and complex sentence patterns, ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct verb tense usage across time periods.

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