Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

INTRODUCTION NUMBERS OF JOBS IN FOUR SECTORS IN THE ECONOMY IN THE US [redacted phone] IN 1960 THE HEALTH CARE OF THE JOB MEMBERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM BUT AT THE PASSAGE OF TIME THEY WORK ON THE HEALTHCARE OF THEIR WORKERS AT THE SAME MOVEMENT IN 1980 THE HEALTHCARE GETTING BETTER AND EVENTUALLY IN 2020 THE HEALTHCARE IS AT THE TOP THERE ARE THREE MANY OTHERS TYPES IN JOBS SECTOR SUCH ARE MANUFACTURING RETAIL AGRICULTURE IN CENTURY 1960 TO 2020 THE MANUFACTURING IS AT THE TOPIN JOB SECTORS ALSO THE SAME TYPE OF JOBS SECTORS RETAIL FROM 1960 TO 2020 HAVE THE SAME CONDITION AT THE LAST TYPE OF JOBS SECTORS AGRICULTURE IS GETTING WORST DAY BY DAY THAT IS THE REASON AGRICULTURE BECOMES FOSSIL NO ONE CARE ABOUT THE AGRICULTURE THAT IS WHY THERE ARE SO MANY DISEASE ARE CAUSED IN OUR COUNTARY THERE ARE MILLION OFJOB SECTORS BUT NO IS GAVE THE IMPORTANCE TO THE AGRICULTURE

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response addresses the task only minimally and tangentially. While the writer attempts to mention some sectors from the graph, such as healthcare, manufacturing, retail, and agriculture, the reporting of data is extremely vague and confused. For instance, statements about the healthcare sector working on workers' health or agriculture causing diseases are irrelevant to the visual data provided. The overview and data selection lack accuracy, and key trends are not properly reported or compared, reflecting a minimal response to the requirements of Academic Task 1.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently. The entire response is written as a single, massive block of text without any proper paragraphing or punctuation, making it extremely difficult to follow. There is a complete lack of logical progression, and cohesive devices are virtually absent. Sentences run into one another without capitalisation or full stops to separate thoughts, severely disrupting the flow of the writing and causing significant confusion for the reader regarding how the different economic sectors relate to one another.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily restricted. The student relies on simple terms and makes frequent errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as writing 'job members', 'passages of time', and 'fossil' instead of obsolete or declining. Furthermore, there are numerous errors in spelling and terminology that severely strain the reader's comprehension. To move up, the student needs to build a much wider and more accurate vocabulary specifically suited for describing statistical trends, such as verbs and nouns denoting rise, fall, and fluctuation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting almost entirely of poorly constructed, run-on simple sentences. There is a complete absence of punctuation throughout the entire text, with no periods or commas to mark clause boundaries. Errors are frequent and often distort meaning, such as incorrect verb tenses and forms ('is gave the importance') and missing articles. The total lack of punctuation and frequent structural breakdowns mean that the grammatical control falls firmly into the lowest ranges.

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