Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Introduction:

The line graphs illustrates information regarding the number of jobs in various sectors(manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare) of the economy in the United States between 1960 to 2020.

overview:

Overall, retail and healthcare experienced noticeable upward trends while agriculture decreased and manufacturing showed fluctuating patterns.

In 1960 manufacturing began with 15 million jobs.

Body paragraph A:

In 1980 manufacturing reached at its peak at 20 million jobs and thereafter it reduced until 2020.while on the other hand agriculture started with 6 million jobs, decreasing to 3 millions by 1980 and remained relatively stable until 2020.

Body paragraph B:

in 1960 the healthcare sector started with 2 million jobs and by 1980 it increased to 5 million jobs and it steadly increased to 16 million jobs by 2020.

in 1960 the retail sector started with approximately 6 million jobs before growing to reach around 16 million by 2020.retail and healthcare sector grows betterly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to present an overview of the main trends. You have correctly identified that retail and healthcare experienced upward trends while agriculture decreased and manufacturing showed fluctuations. However, some parts of the task are addressed more fully than others, and certain details are slightly underdeveloped or presented with minor inaccuracies. For instance, your statement that manufacturing reached its peak in 1980 at 20 million jobs is accurate, but the subsequent reporting of data points could be extended with more precise comparative statements to reach a higher level of development. Overall, the selection of main features is relevant and covers the scope of the visual data effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement, and you have attempted to structure the essay into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for different sectors. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. There are issues with sentence separation and paragraph transitions, such as placing the single sentence 'In 1960 manufacturing began with 15 million jobs' awkwardly before the overview/body split, and starting sentences directly with lower-case letters. Referencing and cohesive devices are occasionally basic or missing, leading to a progression that lacks smoothness in places. Organizing your ideas into clearly delineated paragraphs with more varied cohesive links would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'fluctuating patterns', 'relatively stable', and sector names such as 'manufacturing' and 'agriculture'. You attempt less common vocabulary items, though this is occasionally accompanied by inaccuracy in word formation, such as the non-standard adverb 'betterly' at the end of the text. Other minor slips in collocation and word choice appear, such as saying manufacturing 'reached at its peak' rather than 'reached its peak'. However, these lexical errors do not impede communication, and your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main features of the chart.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over structure when reporting data over time. However, there are several errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text. These include missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences (e.g., 'in 1960 the healthcare sector...'), incorrect preposition usage such as 'reached at its peak', and run-on structures or fused clauses like 'reducing until 2020.while on the other hand...'. There are also minor punctuation omissions. While these errors occur regularly, they rarely impede communication, and you maintain a reasonable attempt at complex sentence structures suitable for this level.

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