Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph details the trend in the number of jobs in four different sectors in the United States during the period [redacted phone].

Overall, a mixed trend is observed where some sectors offered significantly more jobs in 2000 than in 1960 while some noticed a decline.

Manufacturing department offered the most jobs in 1960: 15 million to be precise. It spiked to its peak in 1980 offering 20 million jobs, the most any sector has had to offer in the said 40 year period. A decline can be noticed in the years to follow, falling to about 13 million in 2000.

Both agriculture and retail offered 6 million jobs in 1960. While retail saw a massive rising trajectory throughout the next 40 years, agriculture observed the opposite. Retail offered 16 million jobs in 2000, while agriculture started the new century at roughly 3 million jobs.

Healthcare, on the other hand, saw the most growth out of all the 4 industries. Starting at around 3 million jobs in 1960, it summited its way to the top along with retail at 16 million jobs.

To conclude, manufacturing and agriculture saw a decline while retail and healthcare saw immense growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You successfully cover most parts of the task by identifying key features and making relevant comparisons across the four sectors. However, your response contains a significant limitation regarding the timeline: in your introduction, you state the period is '1960-2000', and your conclusion also restricts the scope, failing to report the data for 2020 which is a major part of the chart. While you do mention 2020 data for some sectors in the body paragraphs, the inconsistent timeframe coverage pulls your score down. To reach a higher band, you must ensure that your overview and summary accurately reflect the entire date range provided in the prompt without omitting the final decade.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at logical organisation. You divide your ideas into logical paragraphs, using an introductory overview, distinct body paragraphs for different sectors, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'While retail saw a massive rising trajectory' and 'Healthcare, on the other hand'. However, referencing and cohesion can sometimes feel a bit mechanical, and the logical progression stumbles slightly due to the confusion over the timeline mentioned in the task achievement section. To achieve a higher band, you need to ensure that paragraph transitions are completely seamless and that the overarching structure fully aligns with all chronological data points.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common and dynamic phrases such as 'spiked to its peak', 'massive rising trajectory', and 'summited its way to the top'. Most of your word choices successfully convey the trends in the line graph, though some expressions like 'Manufacturing department' (instead of 'Manufacturing sector') and 'summited its way' are slightly unnatural or awkward in collocation. There are minor lexical inaccuracies, but they do not impede communication. To move to a higher band, incorporate a wider variety of precise, sophisticated vocabulary with flawless collocation and style, avoiding overly dramatic or conversational phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like subordinate clauses introduced by 'while' and 'as'. There are some successful complex sentences, alongside accurate control of past tense verbs when reporting historical data. However, there are occasional minor grammatical slips and awkward phrasings that keep you at this level. To reach a higher band, you should aim to produce a greater variety of error-free complex structures with consistent control over prepositions and sentence boundaries, ensuring your grammatical range is fully flexible throughout the entire response.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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