Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph displays the information in the US from 1960 to 2020. In four various sectors of the economy number of jobs .

Overall, Retail sectors the jobs economy was almost least the table in began and dramatically increased in 2020 and approximately holding the top of table . Healthcare is least in jobs sectors of the economy over the period of time from 1980 to 2020.

Manufacturing was holding the position in jobs sectors of the economy in 1960 with 15 millions jobs opportunity . However, it slightly increased in 1980 about 20 millions jobs sector . Meanwhile the jobs sectors of the economy in manufacturing is fall in 2000 and reach around 16.5 millions and also decline in 2000 up to 13.5 millions in jobs . Although, In retail jobs sectors of the economy least the table with around 6 millions opportunity in 1960 . However, Over the period in retail the jobs sectors is dramatically increased in 1980 and reach around 10 millions , 2000 is also seems fluctuated and reach upto 15 millions jobs sectors in 2020 it reach the top of table with number of jobs sectors around 15.5 millions .

Agriculture jobs sector of economy was 6 millions in 1960 and over the period it slightly decline in 2020 it was lowest in table with around 2.5 millions jobs sectors . Meanwhile agriculture was around 2.5 millions job sectors in economy in 1960 , and over the period between 1980 and 2000 it steady rise and in 2020 it almost holding the top of table with up to 15.5 millions in jobs sectors of the economy in the US .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response makes an attempt to discuss the graph, but it only minimally addresses the task. The introduction is incomplete, stating only that the graph displays information without clearly identifying what the data represents. Furthermore, the selection of main features is inaccurate and confused; for instance, the writer claims that healthcare is the least sector and later contradicts themselves, while also confusing the trends of agriculture and retail at the end of the text. Because the reporting of data contains major inaccuracies and lacks a clear, accurate overview of the main trends, the task is only addressed in a very basic and confusing manner.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently throughout the response. Although paragraphing is attempted, the overall progression is difficult to follow because sentences often lack logical links and transition awkwardly from one point to another. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and inaccurately, such as the repetitive and misplaced use of phrases like 'over the period' and 'meanwhile'. Additionally, referencing is frequently unclear, making it hard for the reader to understand which economic sector is being referred to in several parts of the text. This results in a disjointed and confusing structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple terms like 'jobs', 'sectors', and 'economy' throughout the response. There are frequent word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'jobs opportunity', 'jobs sector', and stating that a sector 'holding the position'. Spelling and word formation are also problematic, with terms like 'fluctuated' used incorrectly in place of 'fluctuating' or 'fluctuation', and frequent awkward phrasing that places a strain on the reader. The range of vocabulary is limited and insufficient for a precise discussion of data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The range of grammatical structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that contain frequent errors. There are numerous issues with verb forms, tenses, and subject-verb agreement, such as 'manufacturing is fall' and 'it slightly decline'. Articles and prepositions are also misused throughout the text, for example 'in retail the jobs sectors is dramatically increased'. Punctuation errors are common, with spaces incorrectly placed before commas and periods. These frequent grammatical errors make the meaning difficult to follow in several places.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.