Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph shows the economy of US sectors from 1960 to 2020. This showns us about the number of job's in four sectors of the economy in the US. The left side of the graph shows jobs on millions from 0 to 25 and the bottom side of the graph show discribes the years from 1960 to 2020 . As we can see between 0 to 5 there was a healthcare growing up to 15 .IN this graph we can see the manufacturing jobs were grown from 15 to 20 latter it was down below 15 and the retail sector was above 15 . In this graph we can see the up down situtaion of the jobs ,with time some job sectors in US increases and decreases ,But over the continous growing sector was healthcare sector. Agriculture sector seem going down with time so, that mean there will be no jobs with increase in time in agriculture .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response only partially addresses the task requirements and falls short of the word count minimum, measuring 149 words while nine words copied from the prompt were not counted. While the writer attempts to report some features of the graph, such as mentioning the manufacturing and healthcare sectors, the information provided is disjointed and imprecise. There is a lack of a clear overall trend or overview, and some details are inaccurate or poorly communicated, such as stating that healthcare was growing between 0 and 5. To improve, the student must ensure the word count exceeds the minimum, present a clear summary of the main trends at the beginning, and report data more accurately without vague or confusing descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Information and ideas are not arranged coherently, resulting in a lack of clear progression throughout the text. The response is presented as a single dense paragraph with mechanical and repetitive transitions like 'In this graph we can see' and 'As we can see'. Referencing is frequently unclear, leaving the reader confused about which data points or years are being discussed. To reach a higher band, the student should structure the writing into logical paragraphs, use varied and appropriate cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly, and ensure that referencing is precise and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with basic phrasing that often strains communication. Noticeable errors in word choice and word formation are present throughout the text, such as 'discribes' and 'situtaion', alongside awkward phrasing like 'growing up to' and 'up down situtaion'. The student attempts some topic-related vocabulary such as 'economy', 'sectors', and 'jobs', but precision is lacking. To improve, the writer needs to expand their lexical range, eliminate spelling and word-form errors, and incorporate more precise vocabulary suited to describing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences with frequent errors that cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent issues with verb forms and tenses, such as 'The graph shows the economy of US sectors' and 'manufacturing jobs were grown', alongside missing articles and incorrect prepositions. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also handled poorly, with run-on constructions and awkward phrasing. To achieve a higher score, the student should practice forming accurate complex sentences, monitor subject-verb agreement carefully, and reduce basic grammatical mistakes.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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