Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates changes in the number of job across four US economic sectors- Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculter,and Healthcare- from 1960 to 2020,measured in millions.
Overall, Healthcare and Retail experienced steady growth over the 60-year period, while Manufacture peaked before declining, and Agriculture steadily lost employment share.
In 1960, Manufacture was the dominant employer at 15 millions jobs. It rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before continually falling to 13 million by 2020. Conversely, Healthcare started at lower sector with just 3 million jobs in 1960, but after this sector gain a rapid growth with 16 millions jobs by 2020.
Retail showed continuous upward momentum, rising steadily from 6 million in 1960 to equal Healthcare at 16 million in 2020. In contrast, Agriculture started at 6 million jobs, but gradually decreased to 3 million in 1980, eventually dropping to a low of 2 million jobs by 2020.
By the end of the period, Healthcare and Reatail had overtaken Manufacture to become the primary sector for US employment
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by presenting a clear overview of the main trends and making relevant comparisons across the four sectors. Key features are accurately reported, such as manufacturing peaking at twenty million in 1980 before declining, and healthcare and retail rising significantly to match at sixteen million by 2020. The selection of data is generally appropriate and well-supported with figures from the graph. However, there is a minor tendency to over-generalise or slightly misread absolute values, such as describing healthcare as starting with 'three million' in 1960 when the graph indicates two million, and referring to '15 millions jobs'. These minor inaccuracies prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Overall, the ideas are extended and supported effectively, satisfying the requirements for this level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay demonstrates a clear logical organisation and progression throughout the 60-year period. Information is grouped sensibly, with an introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs that discuss the sectors in a logical sequence. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Conversely', and 'In contrast' are used to connect ideas, though referencing and transitional phrases occasionally feel somewhat mechanical or repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different categories of economic sectors. To move towards a higher band, the writer could ensure smoother transitions between sentences and more sophisticated referencing throughout the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing sufficient range to describe trends with some flexibility. The student successfully incorporates topic-specific lether and vocabulary such as 'dominant employer', 'upward momentum', and 'employment share'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors, including 'job across', 'Agriculter', 'Manufacture' instead of 'manufacturing', 'lower sector' instead of 'lower start', and 'Reatail'. These occasional lexical slips and minor inaccuracies in word formation do not impede communication, placing the response firmly at this level. Using more precise terms and proofreading for spelling would elevate the lexical score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a reasonable attempt at structuring sentences. There is good use of past and present simple tenses combined with time markers. However, several grammatical errors are present, particularly with pluralisation, articles, and prepositions inside grammatical patterns, such as 'number of job', '15 millions jobs', and 'gain a rapid growth'. Punctuation also contains minor flaws, such as spacing around commas. These errors persist throughout the text, but they rarely impede communication. The presence of these recurrent errors prevents the grammar score from reaching the next band, where a higher proportion of error-free sentences would be expected.
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