Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph compares the number of occupation in four sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of staffs who worked in healthcare and retailed increases over the period, whereas manufacturing and agriculture sectors experienced decrease.

To start with sectors, which saw a significant drop in their jobs. In 1960, manufacturing started with workers of 15 million. This sector experienced a surge in their workers by 5 million in 1980. Despite being growth, it fell suddenly to about 13 million in 2020. Similarly, the number of staff in agriculture was recorded almost around 5 millions and saw a tall to approximately 3 million at the end of period.

Now turning to the sectors which experienced increase, retail was around 5 million at the start and end of the time period., climbed significantly to about 16 million. Although healthcare started at 2 millions but rose to the same number of workers as the retail section.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the main features of the line graph by outlining the overall trends and mentioning the data points for the four sectors. However, some parts of the response are under-developed or inaccurately supported by the data. For instance, stating that retail was 'around 5 million at the start and end of the time period' overlooks the actual progression where retail rose from 6 million to 16 million. The overview is present and identifies the general upward and downward trajectories, but the selection and reporting of data lack complete precision. To reach a higher level, the response needs to more accurately report the key figures from the graph and extend the comparisons between the sectors throughout the entire period without factual inaccuracies.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to group information logically, separating the declining sectors from the growing ones. Paragraphing is used to structure the ideas, starting with an introduction and overview, followed by body paragraphs for the different trends. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, with transitional phrases like 'To start with sectors, which saw' and 'Now turning to the sectors which experienced increase' feeling slightly awkward and unnatural. Referencing and linking between sentences could be smoother. To improve, the writer should work on using a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally and ensuring that the progression of ideas from one sentence to the next is seamless and grammatically integrated.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with attempts to incorporate less common items and trend-related vocabulary such as 'surge', 'fell suddenly', and 'climbed significantly'. However, there are noticeable lexical and collocation errors that prevent a higher score, such as using 'occupation' instead of 'occupations' or 'sectors', 'staffs' instead of 'staff' or 'workers', and 'tall' instead of 'fall' or 'drop'. Furthermore, the phrasing 'retail was around 5 million at the start and end of the time period' contains a factual word-choice error regarding the data. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to demonstrate greater precision in word choice, avoid repetitive or misused vocabulary, and ensure correct word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as 'Although healthcare started at 2 millions but rose...' and 'Despite being growth, it fell suddenly...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding prepositions, plurals, and conjunction usage. Examples include missing articles or incorrect plurals like 'workers of 15 million' and '2 millions', as well as faulty complex structures like 'Despite being growth' instead of 'Despite some growth' or 'Although there was growth'. Punctuation errors also occur, such as an unnecessary comma before a relative clause ('sectors, which saw') and a stray comma and full stop ('time period., climbed'). To improve, the student must increase accuracy in grammatical structures and eliminate frequent basic errors.

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