Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph shows information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960.

overall, the manufctring sector on its peak but in same year the rezi sector cross the manufctring sector on same place healthcare sector also on same line . according the graph manfacturing sector in 1980 on peak but in 2020 a little bit down on same time the other sector took place of it. IN the end the healthcare sector start war with rezi sector . agriculture sector end in 2020 this sector can not pick a hip. for some sector the era of 2020 was very lucky on the othere hand for some sectors its there downfall. All the four sectors working hard for stable there economy. healthcare sector provide more jobs than agriculture sectors. 2020 era was golden time for some sectors. real sector and healthcare sectors very helpful in US economy 1960 to 2020. They provide more numbers of jobs than the others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response makes a minimal attempt to address the task by mentioning some general trends from the graph, such as referencing the manufacturing and healthcare sectors. However, the information presented is largely inaccurate, highly generalised, and lacks a clear overview of the main features. For instance, the student states that the agriculture sector 'end in 2020 this sector can not pick a hip', which misrepresents the data showing ongoing employment figures, and relies on vague metaphors rather than precise data reporting. Key comparisons between sectors and accurate tracking of data points across the 60-year span are missing. The format suffers from disjointed observations, preventing any fully developed presentation of the visual data. Note that 15 words copied from the prompt were excluded from the word count calculation, though the length requirement was successfully met overall.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The organisational structure is extremely weak, resulting in a response that lacks logical progression. The text is written as a single dense block of text with arbitrary capitalisation and erratic spacing, such as ' overall, the manufctring...'. Cohesive devices are used very poorly, often inappropriately, with abrupt transitions like 'IN the end the healthcare sector start war with rezi sector'. Pronoun referencing and logical connectors fail to guide the reader through the data smoothly, making the overall arrangement difficult to follow. There is no effective paragraphing to separate the introduction, main body comparisons, or overview, which severely limits the readability and structural coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Vocabulary is extremely basic, repetitive, and heavily impacted by severe spelling errors and inappropriate colloquialisms. Words like 'manufctring', 'rezi', and 'manfacturing' demonstrate recurrent spelling mistakes throughout the text. Furthermore, the student relies on highly informal or unnatural phrasing, such as 'pick a hip', 'start war', and 'golden time', which are entirely unsuited to an Academic Task 1 response. While the student attempts to name economic sectors and basic comparative concepts, the high frequency of lexical inaccuracies, poor word choices, and spelling errors strain the reader's understanding and restrict the vocabulary to a very basic level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Grammatical control is weak, featuring a very limited range of structures dominated by simple, faulty sentences. There are frequent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and missing auxiliary verbs, as seen in expressions like 'the manufctring sector on its peak' and 'All the four sectors working hard for stable there economy.' Complex sentence forms are attempted with poor results, leading to frequent structural breakdowns. Punctuation and capitalization are also highly erratic, with random spaces and lowercase sentence beginnings. These pervasive errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and reflect a very limited command of English grammatical mechanics.

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