Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The data delineates the information relatd to the amount of jobs in four proportions of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020. Overall, the health care jobs slightly increasing till the end. The jobs related to manufacturing displays a substantial surge at one point in between the years. In the beginning of the year 1960,mostly jobs were just over 3%. The vacancies for manufacturers were around 15%, then there was a significant variation in manufacturing by the year 1980.Subsequently, the jobs witnessed a gradual decline. Initially, the healthcare seats were less in numbers in 1960, but by the looming years jobs were steadily rose.Retail jobs were at 5% firstly, beyond this there was a
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response falls significantly short of the 150-word minimum, containing only 115 words, which severely restricts task fulfillment. While the writer attempts to describe aspects of the graph, the coverage of trends is very limited and disjointed. Important features are either misread or poorly reported, such as confusing millions with percentages (e.g., '3%', '15%'), and the overview is partial and lacks a clear comparative summary of the data across the four sectors. Furthermore, the response trails off abruptly and remains incomplete, reflecting a minimal and partial approach to the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The text lacks clear overall progression and logical organisation. The response is presented as a single fragmented block of sentences with minimal paragraphing structure. While a few basic cohesive devices are attempted, such as 'Overall' and 'Subsequently', referencing is frequently unclear, and the mechanical transitions do not establish a coherent relationship between ideas. The abrupt ending further disrupts the flow and structural integrity of the report, resulting in a disconnected sequence of observations rather than a unified piece of writing.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, though it is minimally adequate to convey basic concepts about economic sectors. There are noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as using 'proportions' instead of 'sectors', 'seats' instead of 'jobs', and confusing numbers with percentages. Spelling and word formation errors also appear, such as 'relatd'. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'substantial surge' and 'gradual decline', inaccuracies in collocation and word choice occasionally cause confusion for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentence forms that are frequently faulty. There are frequent errors in verb tense, agreement, and prepositional use, such as 'health care jobs slightly increasing' and 'in the beginning of the year 1960, mostly jobs were'. Articles and sentence structures are often mishandled, leading to awkward phrasing like 'by the looming years jobs were steadily rose'. These frequent errors require the reader to slow down, though they do not entirely obscure the basic meaning.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.