Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare between 1960 and 2020. Evidently, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at the beggining of the period , but it declied after reaching a peak at 1980.

in 1960, manufacturing provied 15 millions jobs, compared with approximately 6 millons in retail and agriculture. healthcare had the loweste figure, at only 2 million. manufacturing then rose to around 19 million jobs in 1980 before falling to 16 million in 2000 and about 12 million in 2020.

Retail followed an upward trend throghout the period, incresing from 6 million to about 9 million in 1980 and 14 million in 2000. it reached approximetly 15 million in 2000. Similarly, healthcare grew sharply from 2 million to 10 million jobs between 1960 to 2000 , before reaching about 15 million in 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail experienced considerable growth , while agriculture saw a continuous decrease.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and provides an overview in the final paragraph, noting the overall growth in healthcare and retail alongside the continuous decrease in agriculture. However, some parts of the task are developed more fully than others, and there are inaccuracies in the reporting of specific data points. For instance, the student states that manufacturing provided 15 million jobs in 1960 and rose to 19 million in 1980, whereas the visual data indicates a peak around 20 million. Additionally, the details regarding retail contain contradictory information, stating it increased to about 9 million in 1980 and 14 million in 2000 before immediately claiming it reached approximately 15 million in 2000. To achieve a higher band, the reporting of figures must be consistently accurate and all selected trends fully supported by precise data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to group information logically by sector across paragraphs. An introduction outlines the scope of the graph, and a concluding overview summarises the main trends. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, as seen in the lack of clear referencing and smooth transitions between sentences. For example, paragraphs begin abruptly, and the repetition of similar phrases in the body paragraphs lacks seamless progression. Furthermore, paragraphing is affected by mechanical issues, such as starting a paragraph with a lowercase letter in 'in 1960'. To improve, you should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices and ensure that referencing between sentences is transparent and natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully attempting less common items related to data trends such as 'upward trend', 'rose', 'falling', and 'considerable growth'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text that prevent access to a higher band. For example, 'beggining', 'declied', 'provied', 'loweste', 'throghout', 'incresing', and 'approximetly' demonstrate persistent spelling inaccuracies. Additionally, phrasing such as 'loweste figure' contains minor mechanical flaws. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they highlight a lack of full control over less common lexical items and standard spelling conventions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writing displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a reasonable ability to structure sentences to compare data over time, as seen in structures like 'compared with approximately 6 millions in retail and agriculture'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as incorrect noun pluralisation in '15 millions jobs' and 'millons', missing capitalisation at the beginning of sentences and paragraphs, and minor prepositional inconsistencies like 'at 1980' instead of 'in 1980'. Despite these errors, the grammatical structures used are generally clear and rarely impede communication. To reach a higher band, you need to produce a higher frequency of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over articles, plurals, and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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