Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graphs compare the number of jobs in the four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.

At first glance, the manufacturing sector grew dramatically from 15 million to 20 million over the period of first two decades, but after the 1980s it fell sharply and consistently until 2020. This will lead to a reduction in jobs in the manufacturing sector from 20 million to 12 million.

On the other hand, the agriculture sector demonstrates the lowest number of jobs and decreased steadily from 1960 to 2020.

Meanwhile, the retail and Healthcare sector shows a rapid rise in jobs from 1960 to 2020.

At the end of 2020, both had the same number of jobs, around 16 million.

Overall, the Retail and Healthcare sectors show a rapid rise in jobs, and the manufacturing sector shows a rise in the first two decades and then falls for two decades. In contrast, agriculture shows a continued fall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all parts of the prompt by presenting an overview of the four economic sectors and highlighting key data points and comparisons, such as the peak in manufacturing and the identical figures for retail and healthcare in 2020. However, some ideas are under-developed or contain inaccuracies in data interpretation. For example, the text states that manufacturing 'will lead to a reduction... from 20 million to 12 million' when describing past data up to 2020, and the actual ending figure on the chart is closer to 13 million. Furthermore, details for the agriculture sector are somewhat limited. To reach a higher level, all data points should be reported with greater precision and consistency, ensuring that trends across the entire timeframe are fully and accurately elaborated without mixing future tense markers into past data descriptions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas from an introduction to body paragraphs detailing specific sectors, followed by an overarching summary. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different economic trends. However, cohesion is occasionally mechanical or faulty. The transition phrase 'At first glance' is somewhat informal for an academic report, and referencing could be smoother, as seen in the slight disjointedness between the second and third paragraphs. To improve, you should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs seamlessly, ensuring that relationships between data trends are expressed with greater natural flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic trends through words and phrases like 'grew dramatically,' 'fell sharply and consistently,' and 'decreased steadily.' There are some successful attempts at less common vocabulary items. However, occasional inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing prevent the response from achieving a higher band. For instance, referring to past trends using the future-oriented phrasing 'This will lead to a reduction' represents a noticeable lexical and tense collocation lapse. To elevate your lexical range, strive to incorporate more sophisticated academic vocabulary and precise collocations when describing statistical changes and economic shifts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as introductory adverbial clauses ('At first glance, the manufacturing sector grew...'). There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly regarding verb tense consistency. For instance, shifting incorrectly into the future tense ('This will lead to...') when discussing historical data from 1980 to 2020 disrupts grammatical accuracy. Other minor errors include missing plural agreements in phrases like 'retail and Healthcare sector'. Nevertheless, the grammar and punctuation errors are intermittent and rarely impede overall communication. To reach the next level, aim to produce a higher frequency of error-free complex sentences with strict adherence to correct tense usage throughout the report.

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