Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
in this graph shows that numbers of jobs economy between 1960 to 2020 into four sectors.
In a manufacturing 15 millions jobs in 1960 that maximize in 1980 and minimize in 2000 and 2020 thats shows manufacturing jobs vacancy's and demand overcome over the years.In the retail 6 millions jobs are in 1960 and with time demand of it incresing so its touch 16 millions in 2020. In healthcare only 2-3 millions jobs are in 1960 but its heavily increse in 2020 and touch at same as retail jobs.in other side heathcare jobs in 1960 are 6 millions but till 2020 it is decreasing to 2 or 3 millions its not a big loss but demand of it decresing with the time.
For this data shows summary of this telling that numbers of jobs in different factors are incresing or decresing with the time and depends on demand.for example retail and agriculture demand are low in 1960 but in rapidly increase till 2020 other side healthcare jobs are 6 millions in 1960 but in decreasing in 2020 and touch 2-3 millions it is not a big loss but it shows that not everyone are go with or not many vacancies in this sector
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address the task by mentioning some of the figures and trends shown in the graph, such as the rise in retail and healthcare jobs and the drop in agriculture. However, the information is only partially presented, and there is some confusion in the data reporting, such as mixing up agriculture and healthcare in the first paragraph. The overview is very basic and lacks a clear summary of the main overall trends. To move to a higher band, the response needs to more accurately report the key features of all four sectors without data confusion and provide a clearer, more complete overview.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text shows some basic organisation by grouping sentences into paragraphs, but there is no clear overall progression or logical structure guiding the reader through the data. Cohesive devices are minimal, inadequate, and often repetitive, with phrases like 'in this graph shows' and 'with the time' used awkwardly. Paragraphing is also poorly managed, as the division of ideas feels random rather than structured around specific trends or comparisons. To improve, the writer needs to use a wider range of cohesive links appropriately and structure the response with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on distinct trends, and a logical concluding overview.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'jobs', 'numbers', and 'demand' throughout the response. There are noticeable lexical errors and incorrect word forms, such as 'vacancy's', 'incresing', 'decresing', and 'heathcare', which reflect a basic range. While the meaning is sometimes still understandable, these errors and the lack of less common vocabulary restrict the response. To achieve a higher score, the student should incorporate a wider variety of precise vocabulary related to data trends, such as verbs and nouns denoting change, and ensure accurate spelling and word formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical structures used are very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences that often lack necessary verbs or subject-verb agreement, such as 'in this graph shows that numbers of jobs economy' and 'in a manufacturing 15 millions jobs in 1960'. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, including missing articles, incorrect prepositions, and faulty sentence construction. Attempts at more complex structures lead to frequent errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. To progress, the writer must work on basic sentence construction, ensure every sentence has a clear subject and main verb, and gain better control over tense usage and prepositions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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