Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The presented line graph illustraes the comperision in figures of numbers in four different sectors of the economy like Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the United States from [redacted phone] and the data are conunted in millions.

Overall, it is clear from the stats that most of the individual has choose Retail and healthcare department where at some point Manufacturing was at the peak and was highest among all at some point of time.

To commence with, Manufacturing it was at 15 in the year 1960 and it was the highest among all and a gradual growth noted in 1980 till 20 then a decline was observed till 2020 and becam the second highest among all. Considering retail it was at approx 5 in 1960 and a gradual rose was notices over the period and became the highest by overtaking the manufactre filed and reached to approcimately 16.

Moveing Further, Healthcare was at the approimatly 2 and it was the least among all and a rapid growth was noted and shares the first place with retail sector. Last but not least , agriculture was at approx 6 in 1960 and decline was noted till 2020 and became the least preferd jobs by individuals

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to make comparisons, fulfilling the basic requirements of Academic Task 1. An overview is present, noting that Retail and Healthcare grew while Manufacturing peaked earlier, and general trends are identified. However, some parts of the response are under-developed or imprecise. For instance, the descriptions of data points lack units or precision in places, such as stating Manufacturing 'was at 15' or Retail was 'at approx 5 in 1960', and some figures are slightly misreported based on the visual data. The progression of ideas is present, but to move to a higher band, the student needs to select and report the main features more accurately and provide a more fully developed overview without relying on vague expressions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The report has a coherent overall arrangement and is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing the data. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the text, such as 'Overall', 'To commence with', 'Moveing Further', and 'Last but not least'. However, some referencing and mechanical cohesion are faulty or awkward, such as the abrupt transitions between sentences and structural fragmentation in the body paragraphs (e.g., 'Considering retail it was at approx 5...'). Paragraphing is functional, but referencing within sentences can be unclear. To achieve a higher band, the student should ensure smoother transitions between ideas and more precise, natural referencing throughout the report.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common terms such as 'gradual growth', 'decline', and 'overtaking'. However, there are noticeable spelling errors ('illustraes', 'comperision', 'conunted', 'becam', 'approcimately', 'Moveing', 'approimatly', 'preferd') and awkward word choices or collocations ('retail and healthcare department', 'manufactre filed'). These lexical errors and inaccuracies do not completely impede communication, but they restrict the response to this band. To improve, the student needs to build greater accuracy in spelling, check word forms, and use more precise vocabulary related to data trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and some complex sentence forms, attempting structures like relative clauses and comparative constructions. There are, however, several errors in grammar and punctuation, such as run-on sentences, missing prepositions, and awkward clause structures (e.g., 'Manufacturing it was at 15 in the year 1960 and it was the highest among all and a gradual growth noted...'). While these errors rarely impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to characterize this level. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on reducing grammatical errors, improving punctuation, and ensuring better control over complex sentence structures.

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