Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The graph illustrates information about employment opportunities in four sectors of the economy in the united states between 1620 and 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing sector economy rate was high then other three sectors in 1960. Furthermore, retail and agriculture economy rate was same and low then manufacturing sector. Healthcare sector
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 3.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response falls significantly short of the minimum word requirement of 150 words, containing only 42 words. Because the text breaks off abruptly mid-sentence ('Healthcare sector'), it addresses the task only minimally and fails to provide a complete summary of the main features or overview. Furthermore, there are factual inaccuracies and misreadings in the data reported, such as stating that the timeline begins in '1620' instead of 1960. To achieve a higher band, the response must meet the word count, complete all descriptions of the four economic sectors, and provide an accurate overall summary of the trends shown in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5
The response attempts a basic structure by including an introductory sentence and an overall summary paragraph, but the abrupt ending severely disrupts the flow and logical progression of ideas. While basic cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore' are used to link sentences, referencing and paragraphing are incomplete because the text terminates prematurely before the body paragraphs and final comparisons can be developed. To improve in this area, the writer must ensure that all parts of the essay are fully written and logically connected into a cohesive whole with proper paragraph structure.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, featuring restricted attempts at task-appropriate language such as 'employment opportunities', 'manufacturing sector', and 'economy rate'. There are notable lexical and typographical errors, such as failing to capitalise 'united states' and miswriting the historical date as '1620'. The limited range and incomplete vocabulary choices mean communication is strained. To reach a higher standard, the writer should employ a wider range of less common vocabulary and precise terms for data description, while ensuring correct spelling and capitalization.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical structures attempted are very simple, consisting mainly of basic subject-verb patterns. There are errors in word choice and comparison structures, such as writing 'was high then other three sectors' instead of 'higher than the other three sectors'. Because the response is cut off mid-sentence, complex structures cannot be adequately demonstrated, and control over grammar is limited. To progress, the student needs to produce a complete text demonstrating a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with accurate prepositions, articles, and comparative forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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