Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four economy sectors, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data is measured in millions.

Overall, it is clear that, US economy healthcare and manufacturing sector was the highest number of jobs in the given year, while agricuture was lowest number of jobs. It can be seen that the number of jobs in retail

sectors was go up.

In 1960, manufacturing jobs sector which began 15 millions in jobs provide to the economy sectors which was the highest figure among all sectors. This figure slightly increased to 20 million in 1980, before decreasing to 16 million in 2000. After that the number of jobs declined to 14 million in 2020.

In comparison, agriculture sectors have steadily drop in 2 million at 2020.In addition, throughout the period, both retail and healthcare followed a similar trend US economy jobs sectors with significantly surge in 1980, end ended at 15 million respectively in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the prompt and attempts to report the main features and comparisons between 1960 and 2020. However, some ideas and trends are under-developed or imprecise. For instance, the overview contains awkward phrasing and inaccuracies regarding which sectors held the highest positions over time, blending manufacturing, healthcare, and retail confusingly. The data reporting also contains inaccuracies, such as stating that manufacturing dropped to 14 million in 2020 when the graph shows approximately 13 million, and stating that agriculture 'steadily drop in 2 million at 2020'. While the general direction of trends is captured, the lack of precision and under-developed comparisons keep this response at the current level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure separating the introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The transitional phrases used, such as 'In comparison' and 'After that', feel somewhat repetitive or forced, and referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the sentence 'both retail and healthcare followed a similar trend US economy jobs sectors with significantly surge in 1980'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related information, but logical progression between sentences within paragraphs occasionally breaks down due to awkward linking and referencing issues.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-specific terms such as 'economy sectors', 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form that occasionally impede communication, such as 'agricuture' (spelling), 'jobs sector which began 15 millions in jobs provide', and 'significantly surge' (incorrect word form). Attempts to use less common vocabulary often result in awkward phrasing, such as 'highest figure among all sectors', reflecting a limited but minimally adequate lexical range for this task type.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a limited range of structures, relying on a mix of simple sentences and basic complex forms, with attempts at complex sentences often being faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies, missing prepositions, and article errors, such as 'US economy healthcare and manufacturing sector was the highest number', 'retail sectors was go up', and 'agriculture sectors have steadily drop'. Punctuation is also occasionally mishandled, and these recurring structural errors cause some difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar performance firmly within this band.

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