Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

THE LINE GRAPH ILUSTRATES THE NUMBEROF JOBS IN FOUR SECTORS OF THE US ECONOMY, NAMELY MANUFACTURING, RETAIL, AGRICULTURE AND HEALTHCARE, BETWEEN 1960 AND 2020. THE FIGURES ARE GIVEN IN MILLIONS.

OVERRALL, MANUFACTURING HAD THE HIGHTEST NUMBER OF JOBS FOR MOST OF THE PERIOD, ALTHOUGH IT DECLINE AFTER 1980. IN CONTRAST, EXPLOYMENT IN HEALTHCARE AND RETAIL INCREASED, WHILE AGRICULTURE SAW A DECREASE IN 2020. BY 2020, RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE HAD BECOME THE TWO LARGEST SECTORS.

IN 1960, MANUFACTURING PROVIDED 15 MILLIONS JOBS, BOTH RETAIL AND AGRICULTURE PROVIDED 6 MILLION JOBS, HEALTH CARE HAD THE LEAST JOBS OF 2 MILLION. MANUFACTURING THEN ROSE SIGNIFICANTLY TO A PEAK OF 20 MILLION INTHE YEAR 1980. HOWEVER, IN 2000 MANUFACTURING JOBS FELL DOWN TO 17 MILLION AND IN 2020 IT CAME TO 12.5 MILLION.

RETAIL EMPLOYMENT FOLLOWED THE OPPOSITE PATTERN. IT INCREASED STEADILY FROM AROUND 6 MILLION IN 1960 TO 10 MILLION IN 1980. IT REACHED 15 MILLION IN 2000. BY 2020, IT HAD RISE SLIGHTLY FURTHER TO AROUND 15.6 MILLION. HEALTHCARE ALSO EXPERIENCED SAME GROWTH, INCREASING FROM JUST 2MILLION JOBS IN 1960 TO ABOUT TO 5 MILLION IN 1980 AND 10.5 IN 2000. IT THEN REACHED 15.6 BY 2020.

AGRICULTURE WAS THE ONLY SECTORE TO EXPERIENCE A DECLINE, FALLING FROM AROUND 6 MILLION JOBS IN 1960 TO 3 MILLION IN 1980, 2.5 MILLION IN 2000, AND ONLY ABOUNT 1.5 MILLION IN 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response successfully covers all parts of the task by presenting a clear overview of the trends and reporting the main features across all four economic sectors. The student accurately highlights that manufacturing was initially dominant before declining, while retail and healthcare experienced substantial growth. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise or lean on minor mechanical data points without fully synthesizing them in places, and some data points are slightly inaccurate, such as stating manufacturing provided '15 millions jobs' or '12.5 million' in 2020. Despite these minor lapses, the selection of data is generally well-judged, providing a clear comparison between the rising service sectors and the declining industrial and agricultural ones, fulfilling the requirements for a solid performance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response displays a clear, coherent overall arrangement with a logical sequence of information. The student uses paragraphing effectively to group details by sector, starting with an introductory overview and expanding into specific body paragraphs for manufacturing, retail, and agriculture. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader through the data, such as 'IN CONTRAST', 'HOWEVER', and 'RETAIL EMPLOYMENT FOLLOWED THE OPPOSITE PATTERN'. However, cohesion occasionally feels somewhat mechanical due to repetitive sentence openers and a reliance on standard transition markers. Referencing is mostly clear, though paragraph transitions could be smoother to achieve a fully fluent logical progression throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'SIGNIFICANTLY', 'OPPOSITE PATTERN', and 'EXPERIENCED SAME GROWTH'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('ILUSTRATES', 'OVERRALL', 'HIGHTEST', 'EXPLOYMENT', 'SECTORE', 'ABOUNT') and minor word-choice or word-form inaccuracies ('least jobs', 'rise slightly', 'same growth' instead of 'the same growth'). These vocabulary errors and misspellings do not impede communication, but they reflect a lower band limitation in precision and control when attempting less common vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over past tense narrative structures for trend description, as seen in 'IT INCREASED STEADILY FROM AROUND 6 MILLION IN 1960 TO 10 MILLION IN 1980.' There are some grammatical errors, such as pluralisation and article usage ('15 millions jobs', 'the least jobs', 'FELL DOWN'), but these errors rarely impede communication and the basic meaning remains clear. Punctuation is generally acceptable, though the use of all-caps throughout the text detracts from professional presentation. The structural variety is sufficient to communicate the data, yet persistent minor errors prevent a higher rating.

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