Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given grap shows the numer of jobs in 4 types of the economy sector in US in the year between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, The given information show the number of job given in 4 sector in time perid of 60 years. the list job of 1960 to 2020 is in the agriculture sector and the sector which is grown in 2020 is retail and healthcare are compititing eachother at the same level of giving job oportuninty.

In the year 1980 to 2000 many job sectors of economy in US become high and some goes list because of their less efforts

agriculture become the list between this year and manufacturing is going down but the realailers and healthcare are going upward then them and healthcare as well as retail are going higher together in the chart so, In 2020 the higheh demand in the feald of healthcare and retail

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt by reporting information about the four job sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the task is only partially addressed because the selection of main features is disjointed and imprecise. While the writer mentions the agriculture sector having the lowest figures and notes the rise in retail and healthcare, the overall progression is difficult to follow. Key data points from the chart, such as the peak of manufacturing in 1980 or the specific trajectories of each sector, are either misreported or expressed in a very vague manner. Furthermore, the attempt at an overview is unclear and lacks a well-defined summary of the most prominent trends. To move to a higher band, the response needs to present a clearer overview of the main trends and select and contrast key data points more accurately and thoroughly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The organization of the text lacks a clear overall progression. The response is divided into a short introductory sentence and two poorly structured body paragraphs, but the ideas within them are jumbled and lack logical sequencing. Cohesive devices are used very minimally and sometimes inaccurately, such as the abrupt transition 'so, In 2020 the higheh demand'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which sector or time period is being discussed. Paragraphing is also inadequate, as the text is not properly divided into a logical sequence of introduction, overview, and body details. To improve, the writer should use clear paragraph breaks, ensure a logical flow of ideas from start to finish, and employ a wider range of appropriate cohesive devices to connect sentences smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are frequent lexical errors, including spelling mistakes like 'grap' for graph, 'numer' for number, 'compititing' for competing, 'oportuninty' for opportunity, 'list' for least, 'realailers' for retailers, 'higheh' for highest, and 'feald' for field. Word choice is also imprecise, such as using 'job given' instead of employment figures, and 'less efforts' to describe sector decline. These numerous errors in spelling and word choice cause noticeable difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to build a more accurate vocabulary related to graphs and trends, pay closer attention to word formation, and eliminate spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, relying mostly on simple sentence structures and faulty attempts at complex sentences. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, including missing articles ('in US', 'in agriculture sector'), incorrect verb tenses and forms ('the sector which is grown', 'some goes list'), and poor sentence boundary punctuation resulting in run-on sentences. For example, the sentence starting with 'agriculture become the list' lacks proper punctuation and subject-verb agreement. These frequent grammatical errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer should focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring correct subject-verb agreement, using accurate verb tenses for past data, and improving punctuation control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.