Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graphs illustrates the figures that define contain numerious jobs in different sectors in the America during the period 1960 and 2020. In this essay,I will discuss there characterstics and make comparision between each field in upcoming peragraphs.

In 1960, manufaturing was the top most sector that provide employment at larger extent, it is accounted by 15 million jobs. Which is followed by second largest sector, agriculture that provided roughly 6 million jobs. Moreover, retail sector, generated 5 miilion jobs. Although, helathcare field significattly lower, recorded only 2 miilions jobs.

In 2020, manufaturing sector drasticly fell down after reached the highest level approximetly 20 miilion to 16 million job during 1980 to 2020, respectively. In contrast retail and healthcare secors surged to higher level, which is accounted by 15 and 16 million job, simultaneously. Meanwhile, agriculture declined and reached the lowest level just 3 million.

Overall, the total number of jobs in retail and healthcare experienced strong upward in 2020. On the other hand, manufaturing and agriculture recorded fewest job in the end of the year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response attempts to address the prompt by reporting on the number of jobs across the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the task is only partially addressed because several key features and figures are misreported or confused. For instance, the student states that manufacturing started at 15 million in 1960, peaked at 20 million in 1980, and ended at 16 million in 2020, which contains inaccuracies compared to the visual data where it ends around 13 million. Furthermore, agriculture is incorrectly stated as reaching 3 million in 2020 when it actually dropped to around 2 million, and retail and healthcare data points are conflated in places. The overview highlights some general trends, but the lack of accurate data interpretation limits the depth of the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text exhibits a coherent overall arrangement with a discernible four-paragraph structure, including an introductory paragraph, two body paragraphs detailing the years 1960 and 2020, and a concluding overview. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing is occasionally unclear. For example, the use of transition words like 'Moreover', 'Although', and 'Meanwhile' is present, but their placement does not always establish a clear logical progression between sentences. The sequencing of information within the body paragraphs jumps between sectors without a smooth flow, which affects the overall readability and organizational clarity.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary range used in the essay is limited and restricted to basic terms relevant to the chart, such as 'sector', 'jobs', and 'levels'. There are frequent errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally impede communication. Examples of vocabulary issues include 'manufaturing' (spelling), 'drasticly' (spelling and form), 'secors' (spelling), and inappropriate lexical phrases such as 'top most sector' and 'provide employment at larger extent'. The attempt to use less common vocabulary results in noticeable inaccuracies, such as 'helathcare field significattly lower', which demonstrates restricted lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The student demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple and attempted complex sentences that are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in grammatical structures, verb forms, and agreements, including tense inconsistencies such as 'The line graphs illustrates' and 'figures that define contain numerious jobs'. Other notable errors include missing articles ('in America', 'retail and healthcare secors'), incorrect prepositions ('during the period 1960 and 2020'), and fragmented punctuation within clauses. These frequent grammatical errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher band.

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