Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graphs illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors in america between 1960 and 2020.

Overall it is clear that manufacturing is the highest growth people number of occupation in million between 1960 to 1980 where retial and healthcare is the equal number of people in 2020 although agriculture is the lowest numbers of occupation comparison between others in sector of the economy in america.

In 1960 to 1980 the number of highest economy in manufacturing sector which is 15 to 20.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response falls significantly short of the 150-word minimum requirement, containing only 85 words. As a result, the task is addressed only partially. While the student attempts to introduce the graph and mentions a few general trends, such as manufacturing and agriculture, the information is extremely limited and incomplete. Major sectors like healthcare and retail are either poorly integrated or barely mentioned, and the overview lacks clarity and development. To improve, the writer must ensure they write at least 150 words, provide a clear, comprehensive overview of all four economic sectors, and report key features and comparisons accurately throughout the entire 1960 to 2020 timeframe.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organization with an introductory sentence and the beginning of an overview, but the response lacks overall progression and proper paragraphing. The text breaks off abruptly after only three short, disjointed paragraphs. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes inaccurate, such as using 'although' inappropriately in the second paragraph ('although agriculture is the lowest numbers...'). Referencing between sentences is weak, making the flow disjointed. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to structure the response into logical paragraphs (introduction, overview, and clear body paragraphs grouping data), use cohesive devices more naturally, and ensure a clear, logical progression of ideas from the start to the end of the report.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, showing a limited range that is only minimally adequate for the task. There are several noticeable lexical errors, such as 'america' (uncapitalized), 'growth people number of occupation', 'retial' (spelling error), and 'numbers of occupation comparison'. These inaccuracies and awkward word choices occasionally cause confusion for the reader. To improve lexical resource, the student should expand their vocabulary related to graph trends (e.g., verbs and nouns describing rises, falls, and peaks) and check for correct spelling and word forms, such as using 'sectors' or 'industries' instead of 'occupation' when describing economic categories.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentence structures that are frequently faulty. There are multiple grammar errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The line graphs illustrates'), missing articles ('in america', 'in manufacturing sector'), and incorrect prepositional phrases ('in 1960 to 1980'). These frequent errors can cause some difficulty and strain for the reader. To achieve a higher score, the writer must practice forming accurate complex sentences, maintain correct verb tenses when describing past data, pay closer attention to articles and prepositions, and ensure correct capitalization of proper nouns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.