Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
This line paragraph illustrates the information about jobs quantities in four sectors of economy in US within the period of 1960 to 2020.
From the beggining, Manufacturing performs the biggest role in overall jobs in US market, But the figure started to gradually decline from the year 1980, Since then economy market is still closing below it's previous low including 2000 till 2020.
Secondly, Retail is the second most biggest market in these four sectors, Whereas, there are 5 million jobs in retails in 1960s, Which increases in a linear way till 2000, From than we saw a little pause or breaking of that flow but still its overwhelm the manufacturing market in mid 2010s, And right now sitting with above 15 million jobs in 2020.
Agriculture, While also seen a positive flow in jobs market, Graph of agriculture too looks alike the retail one but with little low numbers of jobs, Which is no more below, In 2020 agriculture is now the biggest jobs market in all these four sectors and contributing the most in US economy.
In contrast, Healthcare market shows decline from the starting date, Starting from 5 million jobs in 1960s to now sitting somewhere between 1 to 5 million jobs in 2020, Thus healthcare market shows negative progress in overall these four sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response attempts to describe the data, but it suffers from severe misinterpretations of the trends and facts shown in the graph. For instance, the student states that agriculture is the biggest jobs market in 2020 and that healthcare shows a decline, whereas the chart clearly shows agriculture dropping to the lowest sector and healthcare rising significantly. Because the key features are inaccurately reported and the overall response fails to provide an accurate overview of the visual data, the task is only partially addressed. Ideas are limited and contain factual inaccuracies regarding the data presented.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, and basic transitional markers such as 'Secondly', 'While', and 'In contrast' are used to attempt logical progression. However, the overall progression is impeded by inaccurate data interpretation and confusing connections between sentences. Referencing is sometimes unclear, for example, using pronouns and transitional phrases that do not clearly link back to the correct economic sectors. Paragraphing is present to separate the different sectors, but the internal cohesion often feels mechanical and repetitive, preventing a smooth and clear flow of information.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as 'jobs quantities' instead of 'number of jobs', 'beggining' with a spelling error, and 'most biggest market', which cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a weak grasp of collocations and superlative forms. The student attempts to use some topic-specific terms like 'economy market', 'sectors', and 'decline', but these are frequently combined with inaccurate modifiers or unnatural phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
There is a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, such as in the long, run-on sentence describing retail and agriculture. Frequent grammatical errors occur throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies (e.g., mixing past and present tenses incorrectly like 'Retail is... Which increases...'), incorrect prepositions ('in retails', 'in US market'), and punctuation errors like comma splices. These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader in following the intended meaning.
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