Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of employments four sectors of the economy in the Unites States between1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of employements in retail and healtcare increased steadily, whereas the number of employements in manufacturing and agriculture decreased dramatically over the period.
The number of jobs in healthcare grew significantly over the period from about 3 million in 1960 to about 16 million in 2020.
Moreover, the number of jobs in retail rose dramatically over the period from approximately 6 million in 1960 to about 16 million in 2020.
Furthermore, the number of jobs in agriculture declined dramatically over 2 decades from about 6 million in 1960 to approximately 3 million in 1980, and there is remained unchange over 2 decades and then again declined overt 2 decades from approximately 3 million in 2000 to about 3 million in 2020. Finally, the number of jobs in manufacturing increased significantly over two decades from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980.After that, it
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the task partially, as the writing cuts off abruptly before completing the description of all sectors. While the student provides an overview and reports some key figures, such as the growth in healthcare and retail, the information is incomplete. For instance, the data for manufacturing in the later decades is missing, leaving the description of the graph truncated. To reach a higher band, the response must cover all parts of the visual data fully and present a complete overview without stopping mid-sentence.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some basic organisation in the response, beginning with an introductory sentence and an overview, followed by body paragraphs detailing individual sectors. However, overall progression is limited by the abrupt ending of the text. Cohesive devices are used repetitively, particularly the phrase 'the number of jobs in' at the beginning of almost every sentence, which makes the writing mechanical. Paragraphing is also disrupted by the incomplete final sentence. To improve, you should vary your cohesive structures and ensure your writing is fully developed from introduction to conclusion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic trends, employing words such as 'increased steadily', 'decreased dramatically', and 'significantly'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors that detract from the quality, such as 'employments' instead of 'employment' or 'jobs', 'Unites States' instead of 'United States', and 'healtcare'. Additionally, the phrase 'there is remained unchange' shows incorrect word formation and grammar. To achieve a higher band, you should expand your range of vocabulary and eliminate basic spelling and word-form errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple subject-verb-object patterns describing data points. When attempting more complex constructions, errors occur, such as the awkward and ungrammatical clause 'and there is remained unchange over 2 decades'. Punctuation and tense usage are generally acceptable in the earlier sentences, but frequent minor errors and the incomplete conclusion affect overall control. To improve, aim to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentences with accurate verb forms, prepositions, and grammatical agreements.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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