Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

To start off, individually from the year 1960, manufacturing field offered 15 million jobs which kept on increasing to 20 million in 1980, but from there, went downhill almost steadily through the 2000 and 2020, finally reaching almost 13 million jobs. Retail and healthcare fields both, started off from 6 million and 2 million respectively in the1960, following the same pattern of improvement through 1980 and 2000, with healthcare increasing slightly quicker to end same as retail at around 15 million at 2020. In 1960, agriculture started from the same point as retail, with a smooth decline till 1980, keeping it steady till 2000 at 2 million with a slight decline frim there reaching almost 1.5million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response covers some of the main features and trends in the graph, noting the peak in manufacturing and the general rise in retail and healthcare. However, the data points are not always accurate according to the provided visual data, and the overview is entirely missing. Furthermore, the length requirement has not been met, as the response falls significantly short of the minimum 150-word count. To reach a higher level, you must write at least 150 words, include a clear overview statement summarizing the main trends, and ensure all key data points are reported accurately without omitting major comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is an attempt to organize the information chronologically and contrast the different sectors, but the overall progression is cluttered and difficult to follow due to the lack of paragraphing. The entire response is written as a single block of text rather than distinct paragraphs for the introduction, overview, and body details. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To start off' and 'respectively', but referencing and linking between sentences are occasionally mechanical or confusing. To improve, you should structure your essay into clear paragraphs and use a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally to guide the reader smoothly through the comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, with some attempts to describe trends using words like 'improvement', 'decline', and 'steadily'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'manufacturing field offered' instead of 'sector accounted for' or 'jobs', and 'end same as retail' instead of 'finish at the same level'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but word choices are sometimes restrictive or unnatural. To achieve a higher band, you need to incorporate a wider range of precise, less common vocabulary and collocations related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'experienced a downward trend', or 'surpassed'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in prepositions and articles, such as 'individually from the year 1960', 'in the1960', and 'frim there'. Additionally, punctuation and sentence boundaries are weak, leading to run-on sentences that make reading difficult. To improve, you need to exercise better control over complex sentence forms, ensure accurate use of articles and prepositions in time expressions, and pay closer attention to punctuation and proofreading to eliminate basic errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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