Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph demonstrate changes in jobs in four sectors manufacturing, reatial, agriculture, healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, jobs in Healthcare and retail reached same level in 2020,while other two agricultureand manufacturing shows a downfall in jobs.
In 1960 manufacturing has the highest number of jobs 15 million increased to 20 million in 1980, afterwards shows a decline in 2000 approximately 17 million and in 2020 the value decreased close to13 million, while agriculture and retail is intially at 6 million approximately but agriculture shows a downward trend about 4million in 1980 and reached approximately 1 million in 2020, whereas reatil shows and upward trend 10 million in 1980 ,15 million in 2000 and close to 16 million in 2020.
Healthcare intilally show lowest jobs in 1960 for about 3 million but afterwards increased in 1980 to 5million and peaked in 2020 for about 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and trends for all four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the length requirement was not met, as the response falls short of the 150-word minimum (with some words copied directly from the prompt discounted). Relevant data is presented, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 and healthcare rising significantly, but some ideas are slightly under-developed or lack full elaboration. For instance, the overview correctly notes that healthcare and retail reached the same level in 2020, but the details provided for agriculture and manufacturing could be structured more clearly to provide a more thorough comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response maintains a coherent overall arrangement, grouping information by sector and presenting a clear progression from 1960 to 2020. The opening overview provides a concise summary of the main trends. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, relying heavily on run-on sentences and basic transitional words like 'afterwards' rather than a wider variety of cohesive devices. Paragraphing is also somewhat limited, as the body of the response is largely compressed into long, dense sentences rather than being broken down into distinct, easily readable paragraphs for each trend or time period.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'downfall', 'downward trend', and 'upward trend'. However, there are several noticeable spelling errors and word-choice inaccuracies, such as 'reatial' instead of 'retail', 'intially' instead of 'initially', and awkward phrasing like 'healthcare intilally show lowest jobs'. These lexical slips and spelling mistakes occasionally detract from the precision of the response, though they do not completely impede communication. To reach a higher band, a wider variety of precise vocabulary and correct word forms must be used consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('The line graph demonstrate', 'manufacturing and retail reached same level', 'agricultureand manufacturing shows') and missing prepositions or articles. Furthermore, run-on sentences occur because multiple clauses are joined without proper punctuation or conjunctions. While these errors rarely completely obscure the meaning, their frequency places the response firmly within this band. Incorporating more error-free complex sentences and polishing punctuation would significantly improve grammatical control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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