Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph represent the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between the time period of 1960 to 2020. It has four sectors - manufacturing sector , retail sector , agriculture sector and healthcare sector . they are compared on number of jobs after every 20 years . the sector which have most number of jobs in 1960 was the manufacturing sector with 15 million jobs then two sectors are approximately at the same number of jobs which are retail and agriculture sectors between 5 to 10 million jobs and healthcare with least number of jobs in 1960 between 0 to 5 million jobs. after 20 years in 1980 the manufacturing was the sector with most number of jobs in us which was around 20 million jobs. retail and agriculture sector one provided more jobs which was retail sector it grew to 10 million jobs and another got less number of jobs from the previous record of 20 years which was agriculture sector which falls down in number of jobs below 5 million jobs. the healthcare sector grew to 5 million jobs. IN 2000 two sectors falls in number of jobs or showed minimal growth which was manufacturing sector which falled down to 15 to 17 million jobs approximately and another sector which was agriculture sector remained at approximately same amount of jobs from 1980. Apart from them other two sector showed an improvement in number of jobs both retail and healthcare sector grew. retail sector grew to 15 million jobs and healthcare reached between 10 to 14 million jobs . In the last year 2020 the manufacturing sector continued to decrease in number to below 15 million jobs. agriculture also showed decrease in numbers . whereas both retail and healthcare sectors crossed 15 million jobs .
Overall the manufacturing sector produced the most number of jobs ever in 1980 around 20 million jobs . the agriculture sector gave less or minimal jobs among all . And the healthcare sector was the one who showed the most growth from 1980 to 2020. it started from 5-10 million jobs to around 15-20 million jobs. Heathcare was one of the best sectors in providing people jobs
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The overview provided in the concluding paragraphs highlights key trends, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 and healthcare's substantial growth. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or lack precise support, such as the generalized description of trends in 2000, which keeps the response at this level rather than fully achieving a higher band. A small portion of the text includes copied prompt material, though the core task requirements are fully met.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression through the decades, moving systematically from 1960 to 2020 and concluding with an overview. Paragraphing is utilized, separating the body details from the summary, though the internal paragraph structure within the body is quite dense. Cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or faulty, with frequent reliance on basic linkers and repetitive referencing structures such as 'another sector which was'. To reach a higher band, the student needs to integrate more sophisticated and varied cohesive devices and ensure smoother transitions between sentences.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic trends, increases, and decreases across the sectors. The student attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'sector', 'economy', and 'improvement', but encounters noticeable errors in word choice and word forms, such as 'falled' instead of 'fell' and 'Heathcare' spelling slips. There are also occasional phrasing inaccuracies that do not impede communication. To improve, the student should expand their range of functional synonyms for describing data changes and pay closer attention to standard collocations and word formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The text displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though attempts at complex structures often contain errors in punctuation, capitalization, and clause coordination. There are frequent missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences and proper nouns. Grammatical errors—such as subject-verb agreement issues in 'the sector which have' and incorrect verb forms like 'two sectors falls'—are present throughout the essay. While these errors rarely completely impede communication, they occur with enough frequency to prevent the essay from achieving a higher band for grammatical control.
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