Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the rate of employement in four different departments of economy in US from 1960 till 2020.

Overall , the healthcare department is the only one that rose significantly over the period . The manufacturing sector fluctuated slightly , meanwhile the agriculture sector initially dripped then remains steady ,the retail first increased then before stability.

The manufacturing sector started its period with 15 million jobs in 1969 , it reached to the peak of 20 million in 1980 before dropping to approximately just under 15 million within the period of 40 years . In contrast , the agriculture department which had just over 5million jobs vacancies in 1960 , it then dripped to 3 million in 1980 and hovered around this figure for the remainder of period .

Healthcare and retail folloed a smilar trend starting at the difference of approximately 5 million . However the healthcare departments 's job increased steadily to around just over 15 million by 2020 , retail rose to 15 million in 2000 and plateued thereafter

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the main parts of the task by identifying some key trends and making general comparisons across the four sectors. However, the coverage is somewhat uneven and contains inaccuracies in reading the data. For instance, the student states that the manufacturing sector started in '1969' rather than 1960, and claims it reached '20 million in 1980 before dropping to approximately just under 15 million within the period of 40 years', which misinterprets the 2020 figure of 13 million. Furthermore, the overview is rather basic and includes awkward phrasing like 'dripped then remains steady'. While key features such as the upward trajectory of healthcare and retail are mentioned, the development of these ideas remains limited and under-developed, placing the response firmly at this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response exhibits a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the writing into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for detailed comparisons. Information is generally sequenced logically, starting with general trends before moving into specifics. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen in awkward transitions like 'In contrast , the agriculture department which had just over 5million jobs vacancies in 1960 , it then dripped...'. Paragraphing is used, but referencing and logical flow can be clumsy, and punctuation spacing errors (such as spaces before commas) detract from the overall fluidity.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully attempting less common vocabulary related to economic trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateued', and 'significantly'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors, awkward word choices, and spelling mistakes throughout the text, including 'employement', 'departments of economy' (instead of sectors), 'dripped' (intended as dropped), 'folloed', and 'smilar'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they reflect a limited precision in word choice and collocation that prevents the response from achieving a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like 'while the agriculture sector initially dripped then remains steady'. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly regarding tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and missing prepositions. Examples include 'the agriculture department... it then dripped', 'healthcare departments 's job increased', and erratic spacing around punctuation marks. Although these errors rarely impede overall communication, they persist throughout the text and demonstrate limited control over complex grammatical structures.

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