Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four economic sectors of US spanning from the year 1960 to 2020.
Overall, healthcare sector has seen drastic increase in job opportunities followed by retail. Manufacturing and agriculture on the other hand, experienced a decline in jobs.
Firstly, the healthcare divison jobs surged from two and a half million in 1960 to five million in 1980 and then rose to a peak of sixteen million in 2020. However, retail sector does not remain behind, job opportunities increased at a steady rate from six million in 1960 to fifteen million in 2000 but after that growth decreased with only 1 million increase in jobs from 2000 to 2020.
Interestingly, manufacturing sector started strong with a sharp addition in jobs from fifteen million in 1960 to twenty million in 1980. But the jobs plummeted after 1980 from twenty million in 1980 to eighteen million in 2020. In contrast, agriculture sector faced jobs shortage from the start. From six million in 1960 to three and a half million in 1980. The decline however, leveled off from 1980 to 2000 but then faced job shortage from three and a half million to two million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and attempts to highlight the main trends, successfully meeting the core requirements for this level. The overview correctly identifies that healthcare and retail saw increases while manufacturing and agriculture declined. However, some details are slightly inaccurate or under-developed. For instance, the text claims manufacturing jobs reached eighteen million in 2020, whereas the chart shows around thirteen million, and the phrasing around retail's later growth lacks precision. To reach a higher band, the report would need to ensure all cited figures precisely match the data and extend the comparisons between the sectors more thoroughly throughout the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response demonstrates a clear overall progression with a logical division into an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for the different trends. Cohesive devices are employed to connect ideas, such as "Overall," "Firstly," "However," and "In contrast." However, cohesion occasionally feels somewhat mechanical or formulaic, and referencing is occasionally clunky, such as shifting abruptly between sectors. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related information, but clearer transitions between the individual sector analyses would elevate the flow to the next level.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as "surged," "plummeted," and "job opportunities." However, there are some lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as "divison" (spelling), "jobs shortage" instead of labor shortage or a decline in jobs, and saying the retail sector "does not remain behind." These minor slips in word choice and spelling do not impede communication, placing the response comfortably at this level. Incorporating more precise collocations and flawless spelling would improve this score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including subordinate clauses introduced by 'while' and 'after'. There are several grammatical errors present, such as missing articles ("in healthcare sector", "in US"), subject-verb agreement issues ("retail sector does not remain behind"), and minor prepositional inaccuracies. Nevertheless, these errors rarely impede communication and the basic meaning remains clear. A greater variety of error-free complex structures and tighter control over articles and verb tenses would be required to achieve a higher band.
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