Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The given line graph illustrates the changes in number of jobs, measured in millions in four sectors of the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is evident that employment for retail and healthcare sector have surged whereas manufacturing and agriculture has declined over the time period.

The line graph for manufacturing has recorded a job spike in the years 1960 to 1980 from 15 million to 20 million jobs respectively. From 1980 to 2020, it has declined and reached to approximately 12 million.

For retail sector, the graph has been steadily increasing from 1960 to 1980 from 6 million to 10 million jobs and till 2020. It has managed to increase to approximately 16 million jobs showing an increment of 10 million employment growth from 1960 to 2020.

In healthcare sector, the graph has risen exponentially with almost an increment of 13.5 million jobs recording highest job growth over six decades. In contrast, the agriculture sector has dropped from 6 million jobs to 2.5 million jobs from 1960 to 2020. The line graph shows sudden decrease of 3 million jobs from 1960 to 1980. It remains steady from 1980 to 2000 and later, it loses additional 0.5 million jobs by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear overview and selecting the main trends across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The student correctly identifies the overall trajectories, noting that retail and healthcare increased while manufacturing and agriculture declined. Key figures are generally reported accurately, such as manufacturing rising to 20 million in 1980 before falling to 12 or 13 million, and healthcare recording the highest growth. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or imprecise, such as the vague description of retail increasing 'till 2020' without fully breaking down its peak. To reach a higher level, the response would benefit from more fully extending comparisons between the sectors throughout the entire period rather than treating each one in relative isolation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas from the introduction to the overview and body paragraphs. Each body paragraph logically addresses one or two related sectors. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, with phrases like 'The line graph for manufacturing' and 'For retail sector' used repeatedly and somewhat rigidly. Reference devices could also be managed more smoothly to link sentences together without relying heavily on formulaic transitions. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct trends, but further refinement in using a variety of cohesive devices rather than repeating structural patterns would elevate the organizational flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying numerical data and trends using terms such as 'surged', 'declined', 'steadily increasing', and 'exponentially'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, but there are instances of minor inaccuracy in word choice and phrasing, such as 'changes in number of jobs' (missing an article), 'employment for retail and healthcare sector' (incorrect pluralisation), and 'increment of 10 million employment growth' (which is slightly repetitive). Spelling is generally accurate throughout, and the vocabulary choices do not impede communication, but greater precision and collocation control are needed to reach the next band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with attempts at relative clauses and time phrases. There are some grammar and punctuation errors, although they rarely impede communication. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues in the overview ('employment for retail and healthcare sector have surged' should be 'has surged'), missing articles ('in healthcare sector'), and slight preposition or tense inconsistencies such as 'has declined and reached to' (unnecessary preposition). The punctuation is generally functional, but sentence structures tend to follow a repetitive subject-verb-number pattern. A wider variety of error-free complex structures would be required to secure a higher mark.

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