Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare in the US between [redacted phone].

It is evident that retail and healthcare showed increment throughout the year and remaining two sector namely manufacturing and agriculture showed fluctuation of decline in the number of jobs.

Manufacturing had highest proportion of jobs at the beginning for 15(million) in 1960 it further rose in 1980 about 20(million). In 2000 and 2020 the number of jobs declined in manufacturing sector of (17 million, 14million respectively).

Moreover, In 1960 Retail and Agriculture both had same number of jobs occuiped by the figure of 5(million). Retail sector in further year showed significant increased in the number of jobs such as 1960 is about 10(million), 2000 and 2020 was about (15million, 16 million respectively). In contrast, agriculture showed decrement throughout the year in 1980 and 2000 it declined by the same figure for about 4(million). In 2020, the agriculture figured for 2(million).

Furthermore, healthcare was the lowest among all three sector at the beginning it was (2million) in 1960. After that it showed drastic increment in the following year in 1980 it was (5million) and in 2000 and 2020 was (11million, 16million respectively).

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response partially addresses the task by attempting to report the main features and trends of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, some aspects are under-developed or lack clarity. An overview is present, noting the overall upward trends in retail and healthcare alongside downward or fluctuating trends in manufacturing and agriculture. Yet, the selection of data contains some inaccuracies and mechanical reporting of figures rather than a fully cohesive synthesis. For instance, the student states that retail and agriculture both had the same number of jobs in 1960 at 5 million, whereas the graph indicates retail was around 6 million and agriculture 6 million, though approximations are expected. The response would be improved by better integration of data comparisons and more precise reporting of the overall trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text has a coherent overall arrangement and is divided into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for different sectors. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. Transitions between sentences and ideas rely on repetitive or basic linking devices such as 'Moreover', 'In contrast', and 'Furthermore'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the logical progression between points within paragraphs could be smoother. To reach a higher band, the student should use a wider variety of cohesive devices more flexibly and ensure that relationships between data points are linked more naturally without relying on formulaic transition words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing a sufficient range to describe basic trends, such as 'highest proportion', 'rose', 'declined', and 'increment'. However, the student attempts less common vocabulary with noticeable inaccuracy in word choice, collocation, and word formation. Examples include 'showed increment' instead of 'showed an increase', 'fluctuation of decline' instead of 'fluctuations and a decline', and 'decrement' instead of 'decrease'. There are also minor awkward phrasings like 'occuiped by the figure of'. These lexical slips do not completely impede communication, but they restrict the response from achieving a higher level of precision and stylistic appropriateness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing displays a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences and basic complex forms, which are often rendered faulty when attempted. There are frequent grammatical errors in tense consistency, prepositions, articles, and punctuation. Examples of errors include missing articles ('lowest among all three sector'), incorrect prepositions ('in 1960 is about 10 million'), and awkward parenthetical structures containing raw numbers ('(17 million, 14million respectively)'). Punctuation errors are also present, such as missing commas in introductory clauses and run-on structures. To improve, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over complex sentence patterns and reduce the frequency of basic grammatical errors.

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