Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph compares job opportunities in four sectors of the economic structure in United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Four markets sectors are included such as manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare.

Manufacturing is at the top of the in teh initail stages , whereas shows steadily decline. In terms of retail and healthcare both markets started from low oppotunites and grew up steadily and sharply respectively.

In 1960 there is a noticeable surge in manufacturing market started from 15 jobs , reached 20 in the two decades but suddenly decline can be seen in the next forty years and the figure dropped to 15 jobs in 2020. whereas same is the case with agriculture sector which had approximately 6 jobs in 1960 then it slowely dropped to around three jobs in 1989 and remained almost same till 2000, but then this figure slightly dropped more to around 1 job in 2020 while considerbly its job number was same as the retail job number in 1960.

While the other two compinds such as healthcare and manufacturing started from low numbers of jobs approximately 2 and 6 respectively but both surged significanty over the periodm and matched the number of around 16 jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially because the data and trends reported contain significant inaccuracies and confusions. For instance, the writer states that manufacturing started at 15 jobs and reached 20, but then claims the figure dropped to 15 jobs in 2020 (whereas the correct figure is 13) and confuses retail and healthcare in the conclusion. Furthermore, the overview is rather fragmented and fails to clearly present the overall trends, such as the massive growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. To achieve a higher band, the response must accurately report the key features and data points from the chart and provide a more coherent, complete overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation, but the response lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas is disjointed, such as the second paragraph which consists of a single sentence listing all four markets rather than introducing a proper overview. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, and referencing is sometimes unclear, for example using phrases like 'while the other two compinds' without proper links to the previous text. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer needs to logically group information by sector or trend, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and use cohesive devices more naturally to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, such as 'economic structure' instead of 'economy', 'teh initail', 'oppotunites', 'slowely', 'considerbly', and 'compinds' instead of 'components' or 'sectors'. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary like 'surge' and 'steadily decline', inaccurate control over collocations and word forms holds the score back. To reach a higher band, the student must expand their range of vocabulary for describing trends and pay closer attention to accurate spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple or poorly connected clauses. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to run-on sentences and grammatical errors that cause difficulty for the reader. There are frequent errors in verb tense consistency, prepositions, and punctuation, such as 'whereas shows steadily decline', 'started from 15 jobs , reached 20 in the two decades but suddenly decline can be seen', and 'over the periodm'. To improve, the writer needs to use a greater variety of error-free complex sentence structures and pay closer attention to basic grammatical rules, such as subject-verb agreement and correct prepositions.

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