Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph compares the number of jobs in four sector of the economy in the US from the year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Healthcare and retail sector maintained a steady growth from the starting of the period, while Manufacturing started at a high margin and later declined throughout the period. Agriculture was the least employeed sector.

In 1960, Manufacturing started with holding 15 million employees rose at a peak of 20 million in 1980, before plummeting around 13 million at the end of the period. Agriculture which started at a very low employment cap of 6 million consistently declined and reached at a modest of 2 million in 2020.

On the other hand, Healthcare sector commenced at a 2 million steadily grew throughout the period reaching at 16 million in 2020. Similarly, Retail sector which started around 6 million in 1960, maintained a potential growth and reached around 16 million in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully covers all parts of the prompt, satisfying the requirement to select and report the main features while making relevant comparisons. You provide a clear overview at the outset, noting the contrasting long-term trajectories of Healthcare and Retail versus Manufacturing and Agriculture. The key trends—such as Manufacturing's peak in 1980 and subsequent decline, and Agriculture remaining the lowest sector—are accurately captured and supported with data from the chart. While the main features are well selected, some ideas are slightly under-developed or contain minor descriptive inaccuracies, such as stating Manufacturing plummeted 'around 13 million' when it reached 13 million precisely, or minor phrasing slips like 'least employeed'. To reach the higher band, you could ensure every single piece of data cited is meticulously accurate and extend the comparisons between sectors even further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of information from the introductory overview to the body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with a clear separation between the overall trends and the detailed breakdown of the four economic categories. You make use of cohesive devices to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and cohesion occasionally feel slightly mechanical or formulaic, and some transitions between sentences could flow more smoothly. To achieve a higher band, you would need to ensure that cohesive devices are used with greater flexibility and that referencing within and across paragraphs is consistently seamless and unobtrusive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms relevant to economic trends, such as 'steady growth', 'declined', 'plummeting', and 'consistently'. There are successful attempts to use less common vocabulary items like 'commenced' and 'potential growth'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation, such as writing 'four sector' instead of 'four sectors', 'starting of the period' instead of 'start of the period', 'least employeed' instead of 'least employed', and 'reaching at' instead of 'reaching'. These errors do not impede communication, but they prevent the vocabulary score from rising. To improve, focus on precise collocations and correct word forms when handling numerical and statistical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with attempts at subordinate clauses and participial phrases, such as 'Agriculture which started at a very low employment cap...'. You exhibit a fair degree of control over basic sentence structures, but there are some recurring grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text. Examples include missing articles ('the Healthcare sector', 'the Retail sector'), incorrect prepositions ('rose at a peak' instead of 'rose to a peak', 'reached at a modest' instead of 'reached a modest level'), and awkward modifier integration ('plummeting around 13 million'). These errors rarely impede communication, placing the grammatical performance firmly in the mid-range. To move up, you need to produce a higher proportion of error-free complex sentences and ensure accurate prepositions and articles are consistently applied.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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