Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

introduction: the line of graph illustrates the number of jobs in four economice section in the united states between 1960 and 2020 measured in millions.

overview: overall, manufacturing employment increasing initially before declining, while retial and heathcare experinced considerable growth.In contrast agriculture showed a downward trend throughout the period.

body paragraph first:In 1960, manufacturing was the largest employment section with approximately 15 million jobs this figure rose to 20 million in 1980,before falling to 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020.meanwhile, retail employment increasing steadily from 6 million in1960 tp 10 million in 1980.it then reached 15 million in 2000 and approximately 16 million in by the end the period.

Body paragraph 2: healthcare employment also grow significantly, rising from two million jobs in1960 to 5 million jobs in 1980. The figure then increasing sharply to 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020.By comparison, agriculture employment declined from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980.it remained stable united 200 before falling slightly to 2 million in2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You successfully address all parts of the task by presenting a clear overview and highlighting the main trends and key data points across the four economic sectors. Your response covers significant features, such as manufacturing reaching a peak of 20 million in 1980 before declining, and the dramatic growth in healthcare jobs from 2 million to 16 million. You also make appropriate comparisons between sectors, noting how retail and healthcare expanded while agriculture steadily decreased. Although some specific data points could be slightly more fully extended to reach the highest band, your overall selection and reporting of information are well-developed and present a clear picture of the visual data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your response demonstrates a clear overall progression and logical organization. You introduce the graph effectively, provide a concise overview paragraph, and then divide the body paragraphs logically by sector trends. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the data, such as 'In 1960', 'meanwhile', and 'By comparison'. However, cohesion occasionally feels slightly mechanical or features minor structural lapses, such as abrupt transitions between sentences and minor formatting issues like missing spaces after periods, which prevents the response from achieving a higher level of seamless flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common economic terms such as 'employment section' and 'downward trend'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('economice', 'retial', 'heathcare', 'experinced') and word-choice inaccuracies, such as using 'section' instead of 'sector'. Additionally, verb form errors like 'increasing' instead of 'increased' stem partly from lexical-grammatical confusion. These errors show an attempt to use a varied vocabulary, but the noticeable inaccuracies occasionally hinder precision and indicate that your control of less common lexical items needs further refinement.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You mix simple and complex sentence forms to report the data, showing an ability to construct compound statements. However, there are frequent errors in tense usage, capitalization, and punctuation throughout the text. For instance, you shift incorrectly between tenses in clauses ('employment increasing steadily... tp 10 million') and fail to maintain consistent past-tense verbs when describing historical data ('The figure then increasing sharply'). Furthermore, punctuation and spacing errors are common, such as 'united 200' instead of 'until 2000' and missing capitalization at the beginning of sentences. These frequent errors restrict your grammar score.

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