Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the proportion of jobs across four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that the jobs of retail and healthcare was gradually increased throughout the period and made up highest proportion in 2020. While jobs in agriculture sector experienced declined over the period and was the lowest shares in 2020.

In 1960, manufacturing were the highest job sector at 15%, it rose up to 20% in 1980 and then dramatically declined at 13% in 2020. In contrast, agriculture accounted for the second largest shares at 6% in 1960 along with retail, significantly fell to 3% in 1980 and gradually decreased to 2% in 2020.

On the other hand, in 1960, healthcare was the lowest job sector at 2.5%, it was increased slightly to 5% in 1980 and then rapidly rose up to 16% in 2020 and made up a largest job sector along with retail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response is slightly under the word count requirement, falling short of the minimum 150 words by two words, which is noted as a limitation. You have attempted to cover all parts of the task by selecting key trends for the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, your overview is somewhat flawed because you incorrectly refer to the data as showing 'proportion' rather than numbers of jobs in millions, and you incorrectly state that agriculture experienced a decline while also listing it as the lowest share in 2020 rather than capturing the overall trajectory clearly. Some ideas are under-developed or inaccurately described, such as stating manufacturing was at 15% instead of 15 million jobs. To reach a higher band, ensure your overview accurately reflects the units of measurement and clearly highlights the most prominent overall trends without misinterpreting the data type.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your writing shows a basic overall structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and an overview. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by mechanical or repetitive cohesive devices, such as repeatedly using 'In 1960' and 'in 2020' at the start of sentences without smooth transitions. The paragraphing separates the overview and body details, but the logical flow between sentences within the body paragraphs could be improved. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow the precise comparisons between sectors. To achieve a higher band, you need to use a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices and ensure that information is sequenced with a clearer overall progression and more natural referencing throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'dramatically declined', 'significantly fell', and 'gradually decreased'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices that affect precision, such as describing job numbers in millions as percentages ('at 15%', 'at 6%'). There are also occasional word form and collocation slips, such as 'jobs of retail and healthcare was gradually increased' where verb forms and prepositions clash. To improve your lexical score, you must ensure that your terminology matches the actual units in the visual data (using millions instead of percentages) and work on precise word choice and collocations to communicate your ideas more fluently and accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You make an attempt at a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and comparative structures. However, your writing contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and tense usage, such as 'the jobs of retail and healthcare was gradually increased' and 'manufacturing were the highest job sector'. Additionally, there are issues with passive and active voice confusion, such as 'healthcare... was increased slightly'. These frequent errors can cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher band. To improve, you need to exercise tighter control over basic grammatical structures, ensure correct verb agreement with plural and singular subjects, and maintain consistent and accurate tense usage when describing past data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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